I thought it would be appropriate to record some of the reasons that made it easy to move on from my old job so that I wouldn't look back with longing eyes.:
In a note to my director I listed some of the reasons "off the record".
1. I appreciate you. - There aren't many guys that I just plain respect. You are one that I do. I realize that may not hold much weight...but it does with me. You are a fantastic leader and a great asset wherever you are and at whatever you put your hands to. Your intelligence and how you typically hold yourself, protect your people and seem to want what's best just reinforces that fact.
2. Nope, it's not about money - entirely. There are things that disappoint me about how things got worked out and it seems that upper management considers the corporate employees to be the "lowest" in the chain of expenses or liabilities. It seems they fall right under having teeth pulled to upper management here...yet, I see (what appears to me) to be very lush decisions made regarding other equipment etc. And, to a degree, feel somewhat taken advantage of or just looked down upon as not having been worth what I was worth in the past. I realize you've said things contrary to that...and I appreciate it. But, for the most part, your words were the only bit of comfort there was. There isn't a feeling of value or worth. I guess knowing how others were handled when they wanted to come back just compounds what I perceive and from the lack of any type of activity to remedy it reinforces it.
3. It's about the leadership - Since I have been back (again, it seems to me) extreme upper management considers corporate employees to be money sucking pigs. In one of the employee meetings it was asked if we'd get raises this year. In a hallway conversation with someone that is in Silva's company I learned his view of the corporate employees...It was a relatively minor remark that went something like "all these corporate people want is more money".. Just left a really bad taste in my mouth. The demeanor with which the questions were answered in the PDF distribution just speaks volumes in regards to the opinion that management holds. There is a definite consensus from all the employees I know about that issue.
4. It's about my contributions - I feel like I have a lot to add but there are so many barriers. Attitudes, pride, preconceived notions, etc. I feel hamstrung. Having to deal with the emotional stability of others more than the solutions that you demand, require and deserve.
5. It's about the team - It may be a dynamic from the position I held before. But, I definitely don't feel part of the team. More like an outsider looking in. That is more than likely my fault more than anything...but, I think some of it is resentment from those I've worked with in the past and others that weren't here when I was here before are just "threatened" or something. But, the constant bickering and obnoxiousness is something that I look forward to leave behind. I am not saying that I am leaving behind disagreements or contention...that's everywhere...but, what appears to me to be hostility based off of insecurity.
You have always been the epitome of professionalism and I hope I can take what you have exemplified with me and attempt to reproduce it wherever I go.
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Other reasons that come to mind:
1. No investment in current resources. Training? What's that..in addition, when it can be done we are replaced by an offshore resource. That makes training even less appealing to pay for. I can't believe they don't really see the dissatisfaction from the facilities in that.
2. Lack of looking out for their people. In an example, a fellow engineer accidentally submitted 1 extra day of vacation than entitled. He was docked. Sounds straightforward. But, when you consider the number of hours outside of business hours he puts in I view it as a bit of legalism. He easily throws away 20 hours a month for this company that his family doesn't get...240 hours a year. That's more than a month of time...but, they got their 8 hours that he took "extra". Wow...I understand rules are important. But, what do you think he's doing now? Smooth move by the company.
3. Something that really surprised me. When I came back it was like everyone was a jedi trying to convince me of stuff. Mainly how processes and stuff are so much better than when I was here before. "Jedi mind tricks don't work on me...only money!" as our purple flying friend states. Here I was...a perfect specimen that they could ask..."so, what do you think of the changes? " I have a fresh perspective. I mean...gone for 2 years. That's long enough to implement some serious changes, yet short enough to recall how I left it rather easily. Nope. It's a funny thing to come from a university of smart people that were inquisitive and well read...to "here" and hear how the world is stupid and only this companies employees are smart. How processes that kept other departments away made things so much better. etc. etc. Very disappointing. I realize that it's probably a weird thing..having been in the same job doing the same things for 2 years...thinking that I am exactly the same as when I left..Like I stepped out into nothingness, experienced nothing...then reappeared.
4. I think my dad said it best. He said, "it's just hard to go back to someplace you've already been. Things are never quite the same.". I really think that sums it up. There's really nothing BAD about this ol' job nor the people that work here. I think mentally I just moved on when I left the 1st time and it was a valiant attempt at recapturing what was...the things I listed are just things that made it easier to choose to leave. I'm sure I'll encounter the same stuff everywhere and new things of their own at each job. But, trying to return just didn't work out. I am excited about beginning fresh in an environment that is in a rebuild situation.
We'll see.
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