Doing well enough to get by...

I have noticed a trend. Not only in my kids, but me as well...We often do just enough to get by. Rarely do we make an effort at every thing we do to do the absolute best we can. I know when I fail at this it's usually due to thinking, "I can finish later"..but, sometimes it's, "Oh, someone else will finish that up". Once in a while I may do a bit extra on something that might draw attention to how much I do...but, usually, it's something I might enjoy doing anyway. It's like trying to get rewarded for obedience..when it's actually, I am choosing to do something that I want to do because I like it..and, oh yeah, it just happens to be something I am supposed to do. Then, make it look like you're suffering....oh, the agony of doing this thing I like...:-)

 

Even though this has become quite prevalent in my household lately...there are those rare and shining moments. The moments that go above and beyond. For example, my oldest son...on his own initiative cleaned Wally. (Wally is our trash compactor named after the famous Wall E from the Disney movie)...That's a job. And, unbeknownst to us, causing this horrific stench. We would come home and go, "Whew, that's nasty." Then we'd search around and think..aha, we found it. The wife left a sock near the counter...But, even though we got that out...we'd walk in the kitchen and wrinkle up our noses. Not any more, my son nailed it and did an absolute wonderful job on it.

 

We do have those moments...how do we have those kind of moments even more? Or maybe the question is better stated, how do I encourage everyone to go above and beyond? To see beyond just tasks that we need to do and see the end goal so that we can all work toward it?

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Predator v. Prey

I was thinking about the act of listening this morning while the pastor was praying and a thought occurred to me. Do I listen with all of me? Do I listen, so often like I ask the kids I coach, as a deer that thought it heard a predator? That led me to "am I listening like I am prey?" Isn't it that important? So, my pastor is praying am I am thinking about being prey...

But, isn't our relationship with the Lord that important? Doesn't life actually reflect a predator and prey type of scenario? Aren't we actually prey? Yes, we are. So many times I fall into complacency and feel like I am secure where I am. I actually stop listening for predators. I get used to my surroundings and get too comfortable. That seems to be dangerous doesn't it?

My father in law is a great hunter. He has many trophies of very large varying specimen of game. I suppose that those critters that now adorn his walls were at one time either hidden very well, or wise to hunters ways to allow themselves to develop those trophy like qualities...a deer isn't born with enormous antlers..I suppose it's time that allows them to get to their size. The only way they can enjoy time enough to develop such attributes...through cunning, wisdom and awareness. What happened that they are now a trophy instead of still wandering the pasture?

Are we the same? Are we the target of a hunter? Absolutely...and this hunter also seeks trophies.

How do we ensure that we do not end up on the mantle of our enemy? I heard some anecdotal saying...an ambulance driver stated, "do you want to know which of the patients I drive to the hospital survive? The ones that keep watching, they keep looking around, they stay aware." There may be no proof regarding that statement, but don't you just know that there is some truth to that? If the deer didn't let it's guard down, it may still be alive. If it didn't get used to the sound of that deer feeder, if it didn't lazy and just want to pick up the "free" corn.

We are being hunted. The hunter is the most crafty hunter that ever existed. It will require us to be aware, ever mindful and ever moving forward. That we do not become complacent or look for shortcuts or easy ways out. The hunter has "deer feeders" of all sorts that he uses to draw us out. His blinds are the highest quality...he's almost undetectable..

Almost. We have a savior, a guide, a watchman, an educator, that trains us up to be able to identify this hunters crafty schemes..

All we have to do is seek him like we are prey and he is our protector, shepherd....

Thanking God for swelling, cuts and bruises...

Today, my youngest daughter was upended on the street accidentally by one of her brothers that was sledding down the street. She was actually thrown down on her face as her feet were swept cleanly out from under her. It was like something you see on funniest home videos....except nobody was laughing. It was a scary moment that I can play back in slow motion in my mind.

I recall yelling out as I saw it coming. Nobody moved, nobody responded. I could do nothing. I can recall wanting her to stick her hands out to catch her self...but, she didn't. I remember clearly seeing her face bounce off of the ice covered concrete. I ran down...blood was everywhere.

I was scared and I needed someone to put the blame on. Someone that could take my wrath for this. But, there wasn't anyone to blame. I feel like it would have been much easier on me if there was someone there that I could rip in half for doing that to my baby girl...but, it was just an accident.

I am sure there are many psychological babblings that can tell me theories on why I felt that way. But, I don't think I need a doctorate to figure it out. I believe it's a desire for justice. My sweet angel was pummeled in the face and I wanted it to be made better. She was undeserving and, technically, I saw it coming, so I should get to call "black, black take backs" and wish to have that removed from history.

As I lay here thinking about justice, I think how it could have been so much worse. So many "what ifs" that make this seem like a piece of pie. I am thankful for swelling, cuts and bruises.

It really messed up my day...but, she's definitely alright and a lot of the swelling has already gone down. I am thankful it wasn't more serious...but, it's a lot tougher when your daughter gets hurt than a son...to me anyway.

It's the little things that matter

One of the things that really salvages my regard for all of humanity are times when I notice nice gestures that are given without regard to receiving credit... Some examples are:
Going to a fast food restaraunt and a guy sees that there aren't many tables and when he gets up he leaves a clean table for the people that are getting it next.

When I have been camping and people have left their extra firewood...

Those are thoughtful gestures that expect nothing in return. However, leaving "something" behind when you exit a bathroom...well, that's quite the opposite.

Be careful what you leave behind. Especially if it's from the behind !!!

Yep, it's in the little things.

The importance of punctuation

Many of us take for granted the little dots and squiggles. However, truth be known, they are extremely important in conveying the meaning the author intends to relay to the reader. There are no age limits in the requirements of understanding punctuation. As soon as someone learns to read, proper use and understanding of punctuation becomes very important. For example, if a 7 year old is reading an Abeka reading book and comes across a sentence such as..."My, but, isn't that fine?" the total lack of following the punctuation rules gives that sentence a totally different meaning and causes a huge disruption during class time.

My butt isn't that funny..

Beyond

Beyond

 

from our view

a moment in time

it passes quickly

both yours and mine

 

we can't see

what is to come

we barely see

what's already done

 

it's all laid out

nothing is hidden

there are no suprises

from circumstances we get in

 

To a mighty God

He sees it all

Our mighty mighty God

Not a sparrow falls

Our God is an amazing God

Beyond time

Beyond the way we think

 

He's not bound

to any limits

His timeless majesty

shines from within it

 

His ways are not ours

His thoughts are much higher

Nothing can squelch

His mighty and blinding fire

 

He's a mighty God

He sees it all

Our mighty mighty God

Not a sparrow falls

Our God is an amazing God

Beyond time

Beyond the way we think

 

 

song by Mike Taggart all rights reserved.  :-P

 

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Continuation of a previous post

The thing that the pups death also revealed was my very restricted ability to interact with people. I found that when they were sad, I didn't know how to respond...to the extent that it kind of made me uncomfortable. One of the girls came by the house the next day with cookies and offering up a "thanks" and I didn't even go to the door. I stood back the in the house and yelled out a pitiful, "Sorry about what happened"..pathetic really.

 

I spent the rest of that day thinking about how poorly I handled that and really wanted to make it right. I thought about what I'd say or what I should have said. Since we bought a sympathy card for them, I thought I could do it when I delivered it. Well, they weren't home then...I have resolved to just doing better next time.

 

But, at least it was revealed that it's something to work on. Another item to add to the ever growing list!

 

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Woah...pretty cool.

Yeah, I'm gonna start looking in the air behind me when I walk outside from now on.

Sadness for the neighbors

Saturday was a beautiful day. It was mid 60's and sunny. In my opinion, as nice a day as ever could be...a few houses down there was a little girl playing in a teepee in their front yard. She had 2 dogs freely roaming about while she played. The big dog is a a lab. He's old and, when I approached him, showed me how sharp his teeth would be, and I moved along. The other dog is a long haired dachshund. The little dark just kinda chased us (Mayf and I were riding our bikes) barking incessantly. It would also bark and chase at cars that passed by...

 

Well, as fate would have it, the little dog got a little more assured of itself with each passing car and got too close to a very large SUV. I watched as the SUV passed by and glanced back up the street expecting to see the dog trotting off as it had done many times earlier. Not this time. It lay in the street, silent, twitching...

 

I ran over. Scared and unsure of what to do. The little dog didn't look alive, even then. I ran up to the house and the little girl (unaware) ran to get her sister. A neighbor joined me and soon a couple of other neighbors were out consoling the survivors. The dog was put in a box and given to the older sister. We all went to our own homes...

 

When I witness stuff like that it always reminds me of my own mortality. I thought about how wasteful it appeared for that dog to have died doing that, chasing cars. After giving it more thought, I have reconsidered my position. I don't think it was wasted for that dog to die doing that. That dog was being all the dog it could be. It was doing what God designed it to do the best it could do it and it cost him his life. It might have been that dog was (in it's mind) protecting it's home from these unfamiliar intruders. What more valiant way to die than protecting its own.

 

Then, I started wondering what someone else might think on my departure. Have I wasted my life? Is it evident that I was all the man that God made me to be doing the things that God designed me to do with all my might? It sounds weird, but, that little pup got my attention in a very positive way.

 

I also noticed something else. But, this has to do with what happened after...I'll blog on that later.

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How insensitive

It was about an hour after dinner. I was checking my fantasy football team, a couple of kiddos were finishing up kitchen work. They were on the final task, mopping.

Meanwhile, my 3rd daughter comes around the corner headed to the kitchen at an elevated pace. There's a small obstacle in her path right before she steps into the kitchen. Apparently, she doesn't want to change pace nor direction, so, she hurdles the obstacle. It was painfully obvious that she had no idea that the floor was wet. Her feet flew out from under her. She landed flat on her elbow...the one holding her favorite glass mug. It shattered with a loud crash and glass flew everywhere.

Immediately, I view that she's ok...without getting up...and I am actually annoyed that she broke the glass!!!

Yep, I feel pretty lowly about that. Next time, I want to be the first to help her up. THEN get on to her about the glass. ;-) well, maybe not that last part.

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embarrassing discovery

What does love feel like? I don't know the answer to this. I mean, not in explicable, easily defined terms. Is loving someone simply enjoying them? I can't see how this could possibly be. Scripture states we are to "love our enemies". I don't think we have to enjoy their company. "Love your neighbors as you love yourself." gives a little more insight. But, still I struggle with what that actually means in "take action" terms. I know I give myself preference and to loving my neighbor as myself might indicate that I should give them preference as I would myself. But, what is the LOVE part? I mean, I doubt that preference = love. It may be part of it...

 

Love can't be just feeling sad if someone departs or dies. I think there is a somewhat selfish aspect to that kind of feeling in that it relates to yourself in "missing the company of" that loved one. But, perhaps to a degree it's not selfish.

 

So, we're at: LOVE - Giving preference to someone.

 

Then, there's:

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

"If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love".

"This is my command: Love each other."

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

 

Ok, so the definition now looks more interesting: LOVE - someone you'd die for.

 

I would like to think that I'd die for anyone in my family. That if it came down do it, I would, without hesitation, do the needful. However, until I am actually faced with that, I will never truly know. So, is love presumptuous? In addition, would I choose to die for my brothers in Christ? Wow...love is scary. Furthermore, there are some brothers that I "love" because I HAVE to. I really don't like them at all. What about those dudes? Am I supposed to be willing to die for them? I think the answer is painfully obvious... and not what I'd choose to hear.

 

How? How do you truly love someone that you can't stand? Apparently, it doesn't mean I have to invite him over for dinner....just be willing to die for him.

 

I think there's more to this "love" word than meets the eye....

 

Please comment with any insight. Thanks!

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Notes on blessings sermon

I go to a lunch on Thursdays at 1st baptist church and pastor Dale gives some great insight during the meal. Here are some of my notes from last time:

_____________________________

Notes on blessings

False understandings

-Criticism is a good tool for change.

-We keep believing that negative reinforcement will help change people

-feel that encouragement or blessings would be too extravagant

 

Need to:

-stop cursing - negative words are curses

 

Blessings are not to be used to reward bad actions.

 

If you are not careful you can only become a corrector and not a blesser.

_____________________________

Those are what applied to me. The actual message is available from their recording ministry...I highly recommend it!

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Pearl of Great price

·         "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

Have you found that field? If you did would you sell all you had, give up everything to purchase it?

 

As a christian, I have found that field and the treasure in it is Jesus. However, have I sold everything else to buy the field where He is? No. The heart of man is desperately wicked. It needs redemption. I have that redemption. It's like I got the field and haven't sold all I have to get it. However, until I do sell all I have I'll never enjoy the FULLness of the treasure. How do you be "sold out"? What is holding me back? Oh, not much...selfishness, pride, laziness, slothfulness, doubt, independence, self sufficiency...I am sure I missed a few.

 

Time for a garage sell I think.

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here's a question for you

What would it be worth for you to live with someone for a year that loves themselves more ridiculously than one can fathom? Divorce rates are through the roof because of how difficult it can be to be with someone that you think you don't love. What about living with someone you KNOW you don't love and never would have wanted to be around to begin with? What would that be like....who would want to be a part of that even for a week?

 

What would it be worth to you to live forever with someone that loves you ridiculously more than you deserve?

 

God hates sin, and we all sin. None of us can be with God when we die based on how good we are. None of us are good. If you've ever thought a bad thought, looked down on someone, told a lie, disobeyed any man made law, or anything of the sort, you are not able to be in the company of God...unless...

God came to this world in the form of a man named Jesus and became a sacrifice on our behalf. Through His amazing act of love, God displays mercy to all of us. Those that love and lift up Jesus will be allowed into His presence. No discrimination based on sex, race, height, weight or body odor. No discrimination period. Just love Jesus more than anything else. Your life will change if you do...it may be too much for you to handle, but, it's worth the try and the effort...think of how amazing it would be to spend forever with THE flat out most amazing type of anything you could imagine. Words can't do it justice. Don't let your knowledge of children's books fool you...it won't be boring with white robes and harps. So many people get excited about meeting a person that sings or stars in a movie or the president...then think they would balk at spending time with God. Unfathomable.

 

Some of Chris Tomlin's "I will rise"

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

 

 

Think about it. Why wouldn't it be worth looking into? Why would you spend time getting to know your spouse but not bat an eye at one of the 2 that you will have to  meet and spend a really long time with....a really long time. I implore that you investigate Jesus, I think you'll like what you find.

 

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Hideous beast

Here's the scenario...my 6 oldest kids are on my airsoft team. We are holding a fort in the woods...we take out a couple of guys that come up on my side. I whisper, "keep your heads down". Meaning don't be an obvious moving target but, stay low, don't move much and keep a watchful eye. Well, apparently, everyone obeyed me to the letter. One of the opponents snuck up behind where I was watching and took almost all of us out..like 4 or 5 of us.

 

I got mad at my oldest. How dare she obey me when she should know what I MEANT to say. (Sarcastic statement). I thought about how I behaved the whole way home and wish I would have handled it like this:

 

"What happened? How did he get that close??" says I...kinda peeved.

"You said to keep your heads down, so we did." says the eldest daughter..

"Oh, that's not exactly what I meant, but, I can see how you would have been confused." says I in an understanding tone.

 

But NOOOO. I go off the deep end.

 

There's a part in the movie "Beauty and the Beast" that reminds me of me. All the servants (at the time they are various utensils) are trying to tell the master of the castle (hideous beast..) how to win the girls affections. As they go through the list they end it in unison, "But most of all, you must control your temper!".

 

I am such a hideous beast.

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Here's another song I want to work on.

This one is a bit morbid...I was regression testing a server making sure all the applications still worked after performing some updates....one of the documents was a list of residents and how much they weighed by month. Some of them had 3 letters in the column under a particular month and no more weights were recorded for that resident. The letters were "dc'd".

 

Written by Mike Taggart

DC'd

 

Staring at a list

shows names in a home

the numbers that represent

a person all alone

 

the column on the left

shows a real name

i think i have some friends

that have the same

 

as you move to the right

you start to realize

that these are real people

nearing the ends of their lives

 

looking at their progress

i see nothing is guaranteed

especially not tomorrow

some on the list are marked dc'd

 

a nurse in a hall

a sweet heart nothing less nothing more

a job that sees it every day

residents sitting at deaths door

 

i look in the mirror

and as i am staring back at me

we'll all be on that list

we'll all be marked dc'd

 

dc'd

dc'd

deceased

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Decisions, decisions

Went to Immanuel Baptist church last night to a self defense class with the family. It was a small gathering...but, the instruction was excellent. I am liking George quite a bit. (He's the pastor out there). The decision we are trying to make is which church to join. Not just join, but as Les, (my old pastor) would state, commit. We think we've boiled it down to 2 churches - Immanuel Baptist Church and Fellowship Bible Church...

 

Pros and Cons

Immanuel

Pros

                - small body that has a lot of needs

                - I think George and I could become quite good friends

                - Lots of opportunity. George has made an informal request that I lead worship on a Sunday night...

                - Lots of the older generation

 

Cons

                - small body that has a lot of needs

                - the older generation states they want to incorporate change, but, experience would say that's not accurate

                - they say things like "what is the will of the body" for joining church members - that scares me.

                - they have had a lot of different pastors over the years - why?

 

Fellowship Bible

Pros

                - small body that has a good handle on what they are doing

                - I really love the pastors messages - very well prepared and fluid as well as chock full of goodness.

                - Body seems TOO friendly

                - good variety of old and young members

 

Cons

                - there may not be a need for us or many places for us to contribute with what we already know how to do

                - we are obviously different from everyone.

                - seems real "youth" driven

 

Decisions, decisions...

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Is it hard for you?

Forgiveness is a strange thing. I know when I forgive someone, I am usually just "feeling" like I'll let it go and forget about it. Here's what happens to me though, I'll be driving in the car or working in the garage..and the "thing" that I forgave will pop in my head. Then, I start fuming about it again. I wonder, is that all there really was or, were they really telling the truth , or whatever. It's my sin nature that makes me not want to be the "fool". To let someone else think that they got the best of me...It's truly one of my biggest struggles that I don't share with many folks.  Partial truths are the worst for me...things like, "I did this thing that one time, and I am sorry" plays out in my head..."I really did it a zillion times but, don't want to risk telling you that...and one time sounds so much nicer...so, if he forgives the one time, I'll just use that for all the times and he won't know any difference." The problem is that I WANT the person that I am attempting to forgive to know that I know and they aren't fooling me.... argh

 

What is true forgiveness? What is the kind that God does when He forgives us our sins? Does He sit around and harp on them later?  I would have to say that from the definition of the word, what I am doing is something different. It AIN'T forgiveness...Instead of saying, "I forgive you." I am going to have to say something like, "I will attempt to be forgetful of the thing that you're requesting forgiveness for but reserve the right to bring it up at my leisure for my edification." Because, I sure don't wipe it out....

 

Isn't it such a good thing that God doesn't forgive like me. I can really relate to the story Jesus told about the man that owed a debt to the king and the king forgave the debt...only to walk out on the street and try to throw someone in jail for a debt owed him.  That story is about me.  :-(

 

There is so much that just doesn't matter in life considering where we are in relation to Jesus. Things that we should just drop and realize the amazing mercy each of us has received. Who am I to be upset about that even if it were only a partial truth? Why should it make me feel betrayed? I have a lot of room to grow in this area...I want to just trust the Lord that , despite how I am viewed by any person, I am viewed as forgiven by Him. That I would always have the forgiveness that I received as a crutch for the times when I hand it out....even to someone that may not be totally forthcoming with their request.  I have to pray that I can receive that strength..because it is currently beyond me.

 

Hopefully, you have that nipped in the bud...any advice is desired.

 

 

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More lyrics by me...

This one feels more upbeat. Now I just have to set these 2 to music and see what happens. Um, anybody know how to make music match lyrics? :-o

Written by Mike Taggart

 

I'm trapped within the walls

of all the things i desire

Things I should not have

lest I face eternal fires

 

The power is overtaking me

with every passing breathe

I need a strength outside myself

to save me from this death

 

There's only One

Only One that

One that can

that can save me

 

Jesus the sword that divides - severs me from my sin

Jesus the torch that reveals - a God that makes me free

Jesus the shield - that guards my heart from my heart

Jesus the One - that saves me from me

 

The freedom has its price

the path is so narrow

The struggle seems futile

on the road that I should go.

 

A strength comes out from within

a hand lifts my falling face

From my fall I find my feet

I am not alone in this lifelong race.

 

There's only One

Only One has

One has saved

The One has saved me

 

Jesus the sword that divides - severs me from my sin

Jesus the torch that reveals - a God that makes me free

Jesus the sheild - that guards my heart from my heart

Jesus the One - that saves me from me

 

There's only One

Only One has

One has saved

The One has saved me

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Trying to have some fun!!

I am working on writing my first real song. So, I wrote down some words....see below. Now I need to find a melody that goes with it..do you think it's an upbeat or slow sort of song?  I wrote it kind of quickly and I didn't have a real idea of a theme..so, it just fell this way. As I read it, it almost sounds like a country song. But, those that know me know that it WILL NOT be a country song. Any thoughts?

 

Written by Mike Taggart

 

rigid on the outside

standing firm and tall

got it all together

nothing bothers me at all

 

immune to the problems

that all the others get

I haven't seen an issue

that i can't deal with yet

 

That's the outside

no it's not me

That's the outside

what the world tells me to be

 

I want to lose this world it looks out for itself

the hidden pain I have can't be kept to myself

The real me has got to be free but I am bound and at war

I didn't know I didn't have, I couldn't see and fell way short

Little did I know that's where I had to be -

looking up to heaven from down here on my knees

Jesus is everything

Jesus is my freedom

Jesus is my all

Jesus is.

 

a slave to my savior

on my knees I submit my will

finally tasting freedom

I am quiet and I'm still

 

confessing all the problems

that consumed my unknown heart

all my issues seem so small

thanks to You and my brand new start

 

This is the inside

yes it is me

what's on the inside

has truly made me free

 

I want to quit this world it looks out for itself

the pain I have can't be kept to myself

The real me has got to be free right now I am bound and at war

I didn't know I didn't have, I couldn't see and fell way short

Little did I know that's where I had to be -

looking up to heaven from  down here on my knees

Jesus is everything

Jesus is my freedom

Jesus is my all

Jesus is.

 

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Oh Happiness!

Emotional rollercoaster..I am on one. I was just sitting here feeling depressed about how my career has been steadily moving backwards. Then, overwhelmed with the goodness of my current situation. God is good. When I remember that, things get put in perspective. Here are some things that I am thankful for:

 

1. God's amazing mercy and grace...

2. My beautiful, smart, sexy, God fearing, sweet, productive wife.

3. Awesome kids. Flat out the best kids in the world...

4. A job that is paying the bills. God's provision.

5. A pretty sweet house.

6. Less responsibility at work than I used to have so I can focus on things at home.

7. Great work schedule.

8. This is the last week of soccer.

9. Silly things like...a cool painted floor garage, a stand up shower in my bathroom, a music room, this huge spider that's been living by the boys bedroom window (outside!!), a great guitar, drums, my sweet camera...man, I have a lot of cool toys.

10. Health

 

 

What are you happy for?

 

Oh Happiness - David Crowder Band

Oh, happiness
There's grace enough for us
And the whole human race

Friend or foe
Stranger or kin
All who come
Begin again

Hard or frail
Rich or poor
All in need
Need fear no more

Such a thing to give away

All regrets
Let go, forget
There's something that
Mends all of it

Such a thing to give away

Sound the church bells
Let them ring
Let them ring
For everything can be redeemed
We can be redeemed
Oh,all of us

 

Oh, happiness
There's grace enough for us
And the whole human race

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here's what I am thinking....

I am feeling a powerful urge again ( I have felt this in the past at different times and at different degrees). I really feel like renting or asking permission to use a parking lot...set up a tent (the kind with the open sides). Setup benches...get a generator for amplification...get a little pulpit, and start a gathering for Jesus. A place where we can be seen and heard worshipping the Lord, teaching, and loving each other.  Have a sign out front, "Worshipping Jesus, Everyone welcome!".  Maybe have a website that would reflect where we are...so that we could be all around town delivering the message all year to different places and different people. It's going to be cold, hot, dry and wet! Big DEAL...

 

I feel like we should kill the idea of a church as a building...and encourage it as - a gathering of His people for His worship and to prepare workmen approved for ministry and discipleship. To make the message available all over town - taking it to where they are.

 

I am sure there will be much opposition to such a thing from non believers as well as believers. That sounds exactly like something Jesus would encourage.

 

Of course, we'd need a person to do that teaching that was also sent by God to do such a thing. I am sure if it is to be, God will equip it as needed. I just need to keep an eyeball out for where he's working and be ready to join in.

 

Weird, huh?

 

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Will you have wasted it?

I was listening to a book on the way to a Buffalo River campground Saturday morning. I had purchased the book prior to our move from Colorado. I had forgotten that I even had it until my ipod started skipping and I restored the OS in hopes to recover it. I was putting stuff back on it and noticed it. It's a book written by John Piper called "Don't Waste Your Life".

 

There's a story in the book that John Piper referred to that had a huge impact on his life. Apparently, there was an old man in the town where he was living and the whole church had been praying for him. The Lord had done His work and the man came to the church...accepted that Jesus was his savior...after the service was over, little John Piper walked up to his father (the pastor) and the old burly man was in tears repeating "I've wasted it, I've wasted it"

 

He poses a question in the book that struck me, "What is a life that's not wasted?" As if I ever defined what it would be to lead a successful "not wasted" life. If it's not defined, how hard would it be to accidentally hit that target? What a tragedy to miss it.

 

John Piper gives a lot of good illustrations and samples from his own life. He lists some of the influential men in his life and how they impacted him.

 

Could that be my job in life in regards to parenthood, teach my children what a rich, full life looks like? In order to do that, I need to know what, how, when, where, etc.  I'll need to understand it myself. Time is short, I had better get busy!

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Kids...

I will be praying for you a lot throughout the day. I love each of you. Tell your younger siblings about it. Ok?

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time doesn't stand still

Today is JDs 7th birthday...He is the only baby that we've had that could put his arms over his head and touch his elbows right out of the womb. Typically, I am not sure there is scientific consistency in this but, when a baby puts its arms up...it's fists align with the top of the head or very close to that. Not Jess...he had long arms and legs and looked like he just got done with a boxing match. The bridge of his nose was hung on the pubic bone and delayed things a bit...he came out facing the wrong direction and freaked the doctor out. It was as exciting a birth as I want to have. However, he was healthy, strong and sweet...and thank the Lord, he still is.

 

I simply can't believe that was 7 years ago today.

 

Time can get away from us in every facet of life. It seems that I have experienced being so excited about what will happen when such and such reaches such and such an age...that all the time that led to that was a blur and seemingly not important...what a tremendous oversight on my part. Every moment is and should be treated as precious and something that, once spent, is gone forever. I don't know about you but my memory is not trustworthy enough to rely on those spread out special moments...trying to make every moment special should help me have plenty to draw from as the years go by. And, Lord willing, my wife and children will have those fond memories too. Leaving a legacy isn't doing one single thing that was remembered...but a way that you lived your life...every day, every moment.

 

There are many songs that touch on this topic...I have referenced one in the past by Matthew West called "The Motions" but, a couple of others:

Group: Decyfer Down

 

Like shooting stars
How brief we are
I wish this moment could last forever
Here with you
I am made new
I want to live like every breath matters
You're not so far away
Just hear me when I say
I wanna love what you love
I want to see what you see
I want a heart that burns like a fire in me
I want your light in my life
I want my heart renewed
Here I am
Forever with you
The falling rain
Can bring a change
I never knew how far that I could fall
I can hardly wait
'Til I see you face to face
I can't believe your love remains the same
You're not so far away
Just hear me when I say
I wanna love what you love
I want to see what you see
I want a heart that burns like a fire in me
I want your light in my life
I want my heart renewed
Here I am
Forever with you
Now that I am here with you
After all that I've been through
I just can't live without
The grace you gave to me
Now I see what you see
Your beautiful life forever in me
I wanna love what you love
I want to see what you see
I want a heart that burns like a fire in me
I want your light in my life
I want my heart renewed
Here I am
Here I am
Here I am
Forever with you

 

 

Group: NeedtoBreathe

 

Why don't we smile anymore

I'm not okay with that

Why don't we dance slowly

I'm not okay with that

'Cause the years go by like stones under rushing water

We only know, we only know when it's gone

 

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What would you think?

I was getting dressed for work this morning and my wife was sitting up in bed reading her Bible. I was thinking to myself, "should I ask her to read it out loud?" For whatever reason, I didn't...2 minutes later she says, "listen to this, isn't it sad." Then proceeded to read from scripture...2 Chronicles 25 1-2 "Amaziah was 25 years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem 29 years. His mother's name was Jehoaddin; she was from Jerusalem. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but not wholeheartedly."

 

What would this mean to you?

 

There's a funny thing that people say that I used to agree with. It goes something like "the Bible can mean whatever you want it to mean. You can find something in there that will help you prove your point." As my relationship with the Lord has grown and shrunk...as I have forged ahead and back slid...one thing has remained steadfast. HIS love for me. Not the other way around. As I think about the saying that I mentioned, if you read things out of context or without the Love of the Almighty, His Holy Spirit...they are just words. Words can be manipulated any way you want them to be, especially without understanding. But, add God...add His desire to communicate to the ones He loves. Then, the words mean something. They become personal. They become words from His mouth directly to me that apply to my circumstances. As I type this I am becoming overwhelmed with the thought/realization of this all over again. Even as I type, the shuffle of my songs playing through my headphones remind me: "This is my daily bread, Your very word spoken to me. And I'm desperate for You. And I'm lost without You." "This is the air I breathe, Your Holy presence living in me."

 

NO, IT'S NOT COINCEDENCE...It's the love of the Father, my Jesus, the Holy Spirit burning inside me for fellowship and I love it.  I need it more than anything else. It's all I need...but, I forget sometimes. And my gracious Father reminds me...through a prompting in my head and the voice of my precious sweet wife..."do it wholeheartedly".

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read a great devotional this morning

Well, I guess I should say timely...not great. This weekend was full of blunders. Starting with frustration with our soccer organization. Everyone except me is a big stinking goofball!! Wow...those are actually my thoughts. I struggle with how things are done every single game. Sunday was a repeat except we were at church. I can easily identify so many flaws in others. I even made a joke in the car how I wish I could get paid to do that, I'd be rich!!

 

But, isn't that true for anyone? It's easy to find the flaws of others. It's easy to not trust, it's easy to see fault.  I had spent a whole weekend seething about what had been happening. More self inflicted time wasting.

 

This is the content of the  page dated today's date...I had already had this on my mind. You may say it's coincidence...but, I serve a mighty God that loves me. He speaks to me all the time. It's not coincidence. It's a Father in heaven wanting to tell His grafted in kid about a flaw that needs correction. That's what Someone that loves you does...

 

All Things Are Pure

To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled. (Titus 1:15)

Your heart’s condition will be expressed through your life. It will be evident by your attitudes, your words, and your behavior. Jesus said that you can clearly see others only when your own eyes are unobstructed (Luke 6:42). If your vision is hindered by sin, you will not look at others properly.

If your heart is pure, you will approach life without malice. You will not question the motives of everyone around you; you will not doubt the truth of everything others tell you; you will not look for fault in others. Instead, you will look for the good in others, finding what is praiseworthy. You will not be naive or gullible, but you will seek what is good rather than what is evil. If your heart is pure, you will see others the way God sees them (Matt. 6:22).

If your heart is defiled, everything with which you are involved will seem corrupt as well. You will assume evil motives in others because you know what you would do given the same circumstances. You will be cynical about what you hear because your own words are deceitful. You will be drawn to evil people and evil things. How do you look at the words and actions of others? Are you critical of them? Are you judgmental? If so, ask God to purify your heart. Once He has, you will be free to see yourself and others as God does.

 

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A reality that set in

I have a daughter that will be 18 in 4 months. I remember holding her in my arms trying to sing her to sleep past her colicky crying. I remember the miconium poopy diapers. I remember her dancing in time with a disney VHS tape that we had. I remember showing her off to my friends...

 

Time is no friend of mine. It continues on...it's relentless. Moments that I miss will never avail themselves again but neither will moments that I didn't miss.  Now, she's almost 18. Wow.

 

I must say that I remember very clearly being that age. I recall my thoughts, actions, and worst of all, my ways. I thank our Lord above that she is so much more mature. So, wonderfully sweet...so opposite of me at that age. I am so proud of her and the woman that she's become.

 

Thank you Jesus.

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She's a gettin' all growed up.

My precious 3rd daughter is having a birthday! I can't believe it. It seems like she was just born and now she's 12... what a sweet and precious girl she is.

Love you LB!

Fun time!

When I left my last job my coworkers were generous and thoughtful. They gifted me with a gift card to musiciansfriend online. Nice!! I guess spending a couple of years with some folks revealed some of my hobbies and passions. Now, the question as to what to do with said gift!!! That's the fun part.

 

In the past couple of years I have acquired a few different instruments. In 2008, I purchased electronic drums, in early 2009 an electric guitar and effects. Both of those need amplification to be heard...so, with this gift card I was able to severely discount a small PA system. It's a 100w system so it's really small, but, perfect for what I'd need. It even came with a microphone!

 

It arrived yesterday. When I got home I felt like it was Christmas! My oldest boy and I started cutting into boxes and connecting wires...next thing you know we are pumping out the jams! ;-) My oldest daughter on the drums, my next oldest on the keys, several on the mic singing. I didn't realize how much fun it would be!

 

Oh, my attitude would try to ruin it by barking out commands of various sorts, but, the prayers of my wife were answered (as she was praying that nobody would be sent away in tears due to my "ways") and we just ended with smiles on our faces.

 

I found that several of my kids have a desire to learn instruments and sing. My oldest boy mentioned that he wants to learn the bass guitar! Wow, I never knew that.

 

Not sure how long everyone's interest will last, but, I will try to enjoy it while I can.

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Is it all just wasted time?

Being of a worldly upbringing, I say something like the title to this blog and think of a song I used to know in my teens and early 20's. (It's amazing how words of a song will stick with you for so long.) The group that sings that song is definitely not worth mentioning, nor the lyrics really, save one;

 

Creations colors seem to fade to grey
And you'll see the sickly hands of time
Will write your final rhyme
And end a memory

 

This weekend I watched the movie "Up"... From what I recall of it, it was a sweet little movie. The first 10 minutes of that movie should be played for every living person. It's a great synopsis of events of life...right to the end. Fun, tragedy, challenges, victories, defeats...it really made me stop and think of what I am doing every day to make sure I am living life like I should be. Note to self: I need work in this area.

 

So, this morning I was going over this weekends activities in my head feeling like I destroyed something. It was a good weekend...right up until my oldest sons soccer game. My frustrations with the coach, with expectations of my sons play with the quality of the rest of the team were too much for me to handle apparently. According to my wife, several of my remarks were bad mouthing the coach. Talking about him behind his back as it were. I can't believe I didn't even notice it. It just flowed right out so easily.

 

What causes such frustration? How do I get to that point? I think I am a little over extended right now. My wife brought up many good points that I should take to heart as we talked on the way home.

1. I sorta blew my witness. Not that I was ranting and raving like a lunatic. But, speaking poorly of someone speaks volumes about ones heart.

2. When will I spend time with the rest of my family if I am on the soccer field 4 days of the week? Some are 5 days a week. I have talked about taking the girls fishing, going camping, playing airsoft. It's all around a soccer schedule.  I love the game. I love how excellent my boys are in it....maybe that's why it's hard to let go of it.

 

Seems like a simple solution...get rid of soccer and I get rid of a couple of the things that causes me grief and eats up my days. My thought is that something will come along that will replace it. But, we'll see. I will complete my commitments for this season and drop off the face of the soccer earth from then on.

 

Wish me luck!

 

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Confessions of fear

There are times in my life when I look at what I have been given. Usually, when I do, I start to become afraid. I would guess that it's kind of common...I am not sure. But, this morning I was re-reading a sweet email from my precious wife. Nothing spectacular.. just an email from her letting me into her day. Including me in on her schedule and the pleasant and sweet things that are happening to her at that time...Usually cute stuff about the kids or our dogs or something funny she saw happen. She wants to share that sweetness, funny stuff, hard times, frustrations, etc. with me. Nice...very nice.

 

I have to admit that soon after I realize the awesomeness of such gifts, I get very tight fisted. Like a kid that just got some special treat...I am thrilled and a little scared that it might get taken away or I might lose it. If it was like candy, it get's shoved in my mouth as quickly as possible to keep the loss from occurring. My mouth stuffed full, chewing and swallowing...out of pure selfishness. If I shove it all in my mouth, I won't have to share or give it back..etc. Ya know what I mean?  I think that's where the revelation sets in. That's where, if you are fortunate enough to have a relationship with the Lord, you learn how to really enjoy it and understand what it is that tries to make you afraid. I don't think I have ever enjoyed anything when the fear of losing it overpowered me. I become a slave to the fear of loss...instead of enjoying what I have been given. And understanding that everything I have has really been given as a gift and not earned on my own. That's the difference, I think anyway.

 

I am feeling overwhelmingly blessed...I don't want it to stop so I am trying to shove it all in my mouth. So, as I type all this I sit here and pray that God will help me rest in the message...to overpower my fear with the freedom and joy of the Lord...to hold everything with an open hand and enjoy it while I can.

 

I am feeling better about things already. Thank you Lord.

 

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How do I inspire?

It seems I am a professional at manipulation, but, how do you inspire someone to WANT to do and be great? I doubt that every great person has a role model the exact same way..I mean, I don't intend to NOT be an example but, I can NOT be an awesome soccer player since I am past that ability in my life. Was Albert Einstein's dad also good at math and such? Al Sr.? Oh, all the books written about all the cool formulas he founded and then simply taught Al junior?

 

There is the real question....on things I can't do, how do I inspire one to want to be more than they are at anything without a real role model? Not giving them the ability to just do the thing....but, to want it with all their heart? To burn on the inside for it? How do you make it for EVERYTHING THEY DO? See, I have a dream that my children will want to be excellent at everything they put their hands to. To not settle for mediocrity or average.

 

Hum? It's a brain scratcher for me. I see so many things that need improvement and that are wasteful. I don't want to be a slave driver or shove something down their throats...scratch, scratch , scratch.

 

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I knew I should have not had that last glass..

I was pretty thirsty after an evening of a soccer game followed by a practice from one of my other teams. When I coach younger teams I seem to find that I "demonstrate" a lot more. So, I was running and moving and such...Of course, I make sure the kids have their water but I rarely take anything. Anyway, after I got home it was about 8:30ish...a shower, food, paying some bills, cleaning up my desk and starting a download of Ubuntu put me at about 10:30..I was still thirsty. I gulped down another glass of excellent Fort Smith, Arkansas water...By the way, it's in the running for the NATIONS best water. Honestly had no idea they even compared such things but they apparently do.

 

Fast forward...

 

4:30am - the gravity from the last glass was really forcing that first glass to exit. Pitch black...I can barely make out anything. The journey to evacuate was successful, it should be safe exactly the same way back, right? Wrong! You know how you walk through a congested area when it's dark? Kinda slow with your hands out...when I do that I think that even if I hit something, I'll just alter course and keep going. My trek through the congested area was successful...or was it? As I resume normal "middle of the night" walking speed something whacks me across the shins...I throw my hands out but there is nothing to grab. It's no use, I'm going down... the problem is I am still tangled in whatever it is just under knee height...I topple toward the sliding glass window...Through sheer athletic prowess, I avoid going through the glass. (maybe just luck, but you didn't see it so you have to believe what I type). I do, however, rake my hand through the vertical blinds. So, between me yelling, AHHHHH and the sound of the thick plastic blinds rattling together I envision getting impaled by some unseen item laying on our floor. Instead, I just let out a loud gutteral UHH as I hit the ground...my legs still draped over whatever it was I tripped over.

 

As I crawl back into bed my wife says, "You ok?"

 

Maybe I'll hold off on the water after 9:00pm...it's dangerous.

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Things that make me want to do things differently

I think it's fairly odd how a song, story, movie, scripture or hearing a friends wisdom can really put my thoughts in motion, hopefully, to quickly be followed by action. As I was working I was also listening to one of my favorite bands, Sanctus Real. The song "Half our Lives" was playing and, as many times as I have heard that song, I never really listened to it. I think I do that a lot! ;-)... In any case, these lyrics really made me think of my little ones and how they attempt to live life....how I lived life as a youngster...what is good for my kids...what I am doing that's too "restrictive" or cautious...many, many things pour from my brain listening to this song. Makes me think of how life is so short and how I am living it and affecting those I am living with...I need to be a better steward of my time.

 

Here are the lyrics:

 

Oh I want every second of the minutes in the hours of these days
Cause there's too many trees to climb
And secret spots to find down by the lake
Oh the fireflies are out and momma's calling now

We can't go to sleep cause we'll wake up older
We can't let these nights steal away half our lives

And we will spend our days finding helpless competition to defeat
Yeah we'll chase away the girls and pretend
that we don't want 'em on our street
Yeah the sun is running too
Being chased off by the moon
And we should go to bed but we'll catch fireflies instead

We can't go to sleep cause we'll wake up older
We can't let these nights steal away
And I don't want these days to ever be over
We can't let these nights just steal away

Oh just stay awake with me
Won't you stay awake with me
Oh stay awake with me

We can't go to sleep cause we'll wake up older
We can't let these nights steal away
And I don't want these days to ever be over
We can't let these nights steal away half our lives

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Something that didn't work

A friend of mine at work has a HUUUGGEE music library available that he allows select few listening privileges to. I am on this list! YES... In this collection he has music that I grew up listening to as well as the latest Christian music. It's extensive. I have created a play list and typically work with the music pouring in through my headphones...

 

I was running a server rebuild through a deployment pack...at a point where I had a minute or 2 to myself. Lincoln Brewster was pouring through the speakers and my heart was rejoicing. I grabbed by Blackaby devotional and read today's devotional. As I was about 2/3rds through the reading, the song changed. It changed to a song by one of the groups I listened to as a kid. A non Lord glorifying song. What I experienced was kind of weird. I couldn't focus on my devotional. In fact, I became convicted and promptly removed all the worldly songs out of my playlist.

 

I am sure that there are folks out there that can do that without issue. But, for me, it was like taking a shower and using dirt as soap. It felt counterproductive. It just didn't work.

 

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