Monday, November 30, 2009

Sadness for the neighbors

Saturday was a beautiful day. It was mid 60's and sunny. In my opinion, as nice a day as ever could be...a few houses down there was a little girl playing in a teepee in their front yard. She had 2 dogs freely roaming about while she played. The big dog is a a lab. He's old and, when I approached him, showed me how sharp his teeth would be, and I moved along. The other dog is a long haired dachshund. The little dark just kinda chased us (Mayf and I were riding our bikes) barking incessantly. It would also bark and chase at cars that passed by...

 

Well, as fate would have it, the little dog got a little more assured of itself with each passing car and got too close to a very large SUV. I watched as the SUV passed by and glanced back up the street expecting to see the dog trotting off as it had done many times earlier. Not this time. It lay in the street, silent, twitching...

 

I ran over. Scared and unsure of what to do. The little dog didn't look alive, even then. I ran up to the house and the little girl (unaware) ran to get her sister. A neighbor joined me and soon a couple of other neighbors were out consoling the survivors. The dog was put in a box and given to the older sister. We all went to our own homes...

 

When I witness stuff like that it always reminds me of my own mortality. I thought about how wasteful it appeared for that dog to have died doing that, chasing cars. After giving it more thought, I have reconsidered my position. I don't think it was wasted for that dog to die doing that. That dog was being all the dog it could be. It was doing what God designed it to do the best it could do it and it cost him his life. It might have been that dog was (in it's mind) protecting it's home from these unfamiliar intruders. What more valiant way to die than protecting its own.

 

Then, I started wondering what someone else might think on my departure. Have I wasted my life? Is it evident that I was all the man that God made me to be doing the things that God designed me to do with all my might? It sounds weird, but, that little pup got my attention in a very positive way.

 

I also noticed something else. But, this has to do with what happened after...I'll blog on that later.



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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

How insensitive

It was about an hour after dinner. I was checking my fantasy football team, a couple of kiddos were finishing up kitchen work. They were on the final task, mopping.

Meanwhile, my 3rd daughter comes around the corner headed to the kitchen at an elevated pace. There's a small obstacle in her path right before she steps into the kitchen. Apparently, she doesn't want to change pace nor direction, so, she hurdles the obstacle. It was painfully obvious that she had no idea that the floor was wet. Her feet flew out from under her. She landed flat on her elbow...the one holding her favorite glass mug. It shattered with a loud crash and glass flew everywhere.

Immediately, I view that she's ok...without getting up...and I am actually annoyed that she broke the glass!!!

Yep, I feel pretty lowly about that. Next time, I want to be the first to help her up. THEN get on to her about the glass. ;-) well, maybe not that last part.

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Monday, November 23, 2009

embarrassing discovery

What does love feel like? I don't know the answer to this. I mean, not in explicable, easily defined terms. Is loving someone simply enjoying them? I can't see how this could possibly be. Scripture states we are to "love our enemies". I don't think we have to enjoy their company. "Love your neighbors as you love yourself." gives a little more insight. But, still I struggle with what that actually means in "take action" terms. I know I give myself preference and to loving my neighbor as myself might indicate that I should give them preference as I would myself. But, what is the LOVE part? I mean, I doubt that preference = love. It may be part of it...

 

Love can't be just feeling sad if someone departs or dies. I think there is a somewhat selfish aspect to that kind of feeling in that it relates to yourself in "missing the company of" that loved one. But, perhaps to a degree it's not selfish.

 

So, we're at: LOVE - Giving preference to someone.

 

Then, there's:

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

"If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love".

"This is my command: Love each other."

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

 

Ok, so the definition now looks more interesting: LOVE - someone you'd die for.

 

I would like to think that I'd die for anyone in my family. That if it came down do it, I would, without hesitation, do the needful. However, until I am actually faced with that, I will never truly know. So, is love presumptuous? In addition, would I choose to die for my brothers in Christ? Wow...love is scary. Furthermore, there are some brothers that I "love" because I HAVE to. I really don't like them at all. What about those dudes? Am I supposed to be willing to die for them? I think the answer is painfully obvious... and not what I'd choose to hear.

 

How? How do you truly love someone that you can't stand? Apparently, it doesn't mean I have to invite him over for dinner....just be willing to die for him.

 

I think there's more to this "love" word than meets the eye....

 

Please comment with any insight. Thanks!



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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Notes on blessings sermon

I go to a lunch on Thursdays at 1st baptist church and pastor Dale gives some great insight during the meal. Here are some of my notes from last time:

_____________________________

Notes on blessings

False understandings

-Criticism is a good tool for change.

-We keep believing that negative reinforcement will help change people

-feel that encouragement or blessings would be too extravagant

 

Need to:

-stop cursing - negative words are curses

 

Blessings are not to be used to reward bad actions.

 

If you are not careful you can only become a corrector and not a blesser.

_____________________________

Those are what applied to me. The actual message is available from their recording ministry...I highly recommend it!



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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Pearl of Great price

·         "The kingdom of heaven is likehttp://media.salemwebnetwork.com/biblestudytools/skin/CW/Icon_CrossRef_wht_bg.gif treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.http://media.salemwebnetwork.com/biblestudytools/skin/CW/Icon_CrossRef_wht_bg.gif

Have you found that field? If you did would you sell all you had, give up everything to purchase it?

 

As a christian, I have found that field and the treasure in it is Jesus. However, have I sold everything else to buy the field where He is? No. The heart of man is desperately wicked. It needs redemption. I have that redemption. It's like I got the field and haven't sold all I have to get it. However, until I do sell all I have I'll never enjoy the FULLness of the treasure. How do you be "sold out"? What is holding me back? Oh, not much...selfishness, pride, laziness, slothfulness, doubt, independence, self sufficiency...I am sure I missed a few.

 

Time for a garage sell I think.



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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

here's a question for you

What would it be worth for you to live with someone for a year that loves themselves more ridiculously than one can fathom? Divorce rates are through the roof because of how difficult it can be to be with someone that you think you don't love. What about living with someone you KNOW you don't love and never would have wanted to be around to begin with? What would that be like....who would want to be a part of that even for a week?

 

What would it be worth to you to live forever with someone that loves you ridiculously more than you deserve?

 

God hates sin, and we all sin. None of us can be with God when we die based on how good we are. None of us are good. If you've ever thought a bad thought, looked down on someone, told a lie, disobeyed any man made law, or anything of the sort, you are not able to be in the company of God...unless...

God came to this world in the form of a man named Jesus and became a sacrifice on our behalf. Through His amazing act of love, God displays mercy to all of us. Those that love and lift up Jesus will be allowed into His presence. No discrimination based on sex, race, height, weight or body odor. No discrimination period. Just love Jesus more than anything else. Your life will change if you do...it may be too much for you to handle, but, it's worth the try and the effort...think of how amazing it would be to spend forever with THE flat out most amazing type of anything you could imagine. Words can't do it justice. Don't let your knowledge of children's books fool you...it won't be boring with white robes and harps. So many people get excited about meeting a person that sings or stars in a movie or the president...then think they would balk at spending time with God. Unfathomable.

 

Some of Chris Tomlin's "I will rise"

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

 

 

Think about it. Why wouldn't it be worth looking into? Why would you spend time getting to know your spouse but not bat an eye at one of the 2 that you will have to  meet and spend a really long time with....a really long time. I implore that you investigate Jesus, I think you'll like what you find.

 



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Monday, November 9, 2009

Hideous beast

Here's the scenario...my 6 oldest kids are on my airsoft team. We are holding a fort in the woods...we take out a couple of guys that come up on my side. I whisper, "keep your heads down". Meaning don't be an obvious moving target but, stay low, don't move much and keep a watchful eye. Well, apparently, everyone obeyed me to the letter. One of the opponents snuck up behind where I was watching and took almost all of us out..like 4 or 5 of us.

 

I got mad at my oldest. How dare she obey me when she should know what I MEANT to say. (Sarcastic statement). I thought about how I behaved the whole way home and wish I would have handled it like this:

 

"What happened? How did he get that close??" says I...kinda peeved.

"You said to keep your heads down, so we did." says the eldest daughter..

"Oh, that's not exactly what I meant, but, I can see how you would have been confused." says I in an understanding tone.

 

But NOOOO. I go off the deep end.

 

There's a part in the movie "Beauty and the Beast" that reminds me of me. All the servants (at the time they are various utensils) are trying to tell the master of the castle (hideous beast..) how to win the girls affections. As they go through the list they end it in unison, "But most of all, you must control your temper!".

 

I am such a hideous beast.



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Friday, November 6, 2009

Here's another song I want to work on.

This one is a bit morbid...I was regression testing a server making sure all the applications still worked after performing some updates....one of the documents was a list of residents and how much they weighed by month. Some of them had 3 letters in the column under a particular month and no more weights were recorded for that resident. The letters were "dc'd".

 

Written by Mike Taggart

DC'd

 

Staring at a list

shows names in a home

the numbers that represent

a person all alone

 

the column on the left

shows a real name

i think i have some friends

that have the same

 

as you move to the right

you start to realize

that these are real people

nearing the ends of their lives

 

looking at their progress

i see nothing is guaranteed

especially not tomorrow

some on the list are marked dc'd

 

a nurse in a hall

a sweet heart nothing less nothing more

a job that sees it every day

residents sitting at deaths door

 

i look in the mirror

and as i am staring back at me

we'll all be on that list

we'll all be marked dc'd

 

dc'd

dc'd

deceased



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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Decisions, decisions

Went to Immanuel Baptist church last night to a self defense class with the family. It was a small gathering...but, the instruction was excellent. I am liking George quite a bit. (He's the pastor out there). The decision we are trying to make is which church to join. Not just join, but as Les, (my old pastor) would state, commit. We think we've boiled it down to 2 churches - Immanuel Baptist Church and Fellowship Bible Church...

 

Pros and Cons

Immanuel

Pros

                - small body that has a lot of needs

                - I think George and I could become quite good friends

                - Lots of opportunity. George has made an informal request that I lead worship on a Sunday night...

                - Lots of the older generation

 

Cons

                - small body that has a lot of needs

                - the older generation states they want to incorporate change, but, experience would say that's not accurate

                - they say things like "what is the will of the body" for joining church members - that scares me.

                - they have had a lot of different pastors over the years - why?

 

Fellowship Bible

Pros

                - small body that has a good handle on what they are doing

                - I really love the pastors messages - very well prepared and fluid as well as chock full of goodness.

                - Body seems TOO friendly

                - good variety of old and young members

 

Cons

                - there may not be a need for us or many places for us to contribute with what we already know how to do

                - we are obviously different from everyone.

                - seems real "youth" driven

 

Decisions, decisions...



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Monday, November 2, 2009

Is it hard for you?

Forgiveness is a strange thing. I know when I forgive someone, I am usually just "feeling" like I'll let it go and forget about it. Here's what happens to me though, I'll be driving in the car or working in the garage..and the "thing" that I forgave will pop in my head. Then, I start fuming about it again. I wonder, is that all there really was or, were they really telling the truth , or whatever. It's my sin nature that makes me not want to be the "fool". To let someone else think that they got the best of me...It's truly one of my biggest struggles that I don't share with many folks.  Partial truths are the worst for me...things like, "I did this thing that one time, and I am sorry" plays out in my head..."I really did it a zillion times but, don't want to risk telling you that...and one time sounds so much nicer...so, if he forgives the one time, I'll just use that for all the times and he won't know any difference." The problem is that I WANT the person that I am attempting to forgive to know that I know and they aren't fooling me.... argh

 

What is true forgiveness? What is the kind that God does when He forgives us our sins? Does He sit around and harp on them later?  I would have to say that from the definition of the word, what I am doing is something different. It AIN'T forgiveness...Instead of saying, "I forgive you." I am going to have to say something like, "I will attempt to be forgetful of the thing that you're requesting forgiveness for but reserve the right to bring it up at my leisure for my edification." Because, I sure don't wipe it out....

 

Isn't it such a good thing that God doesn't forgive like me. I can really relate to the story Jesus told about the man that owed a debt to the king and the king forgave the debt...only to walk out on the street and try to throw someone in jail for a debt owed him.  That story is about me.  :-(

 

There is so much that just doesn't matter in life considering where we are in relation to Jesus. Things that we should just drop and realize the amazing mercy each of us has received. Who am I to be upset about that even if it were only a partial truth? Why should it make me feel betrayed? I have a lot of room to grow in this area...I want to just trust the Lord that , despite how I am viewed by any person, I am viewed as forgiven by Him. That I would always have the forgiveness that I received as a crutch for the times when I hand it out....even to someone that may not be totally forthcoming with their request.  I have to pray that I can receive that strength..because it is currently beyond me.

 

Hopefully, you have that nipped in the bud...any advice is desired.

 

 



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