Soccer day

Well, here we go! Soccer is in full swing. The boys are excited. I am coaching the U5 team so there will be a slight conflict occassionally. That is when I recruit the cinemagraphic expertise of my 2 oldest daughters. I hate missing any games.

Tonight we are going to watch the home opener for the Rapids. They play Galaxy...the boys are excited to see Beckham in person. I hope we can meet him.

I am considering a different club for Christian. Primary reasons: cost and coaching. Rush is ridiculously high. If I felt we were getting ridiculously good coaching, that might make it worth it. However, while his coach is a great person, I definitely do not agree with their coaching philosophy.

Well, I have to get my 5 yo to his game! Wish us luck!

This weekend

Wow, a 3 day weekend that felt like 1 day. Bright sides:
1. I got our cars tagged. We are official.
2. Watched Christian play soccer. He's so good.
3. Played whiffle ball, soccer, whiffle ball, soccer. Fun with my kids and one of their new friend.
4. Date night with my wife!
5. Worked with Nathan riding his bike. He gets so scared he'll make up stuff to get out of doing it. Today he said he was going to throw up...I let him off the hook. The 2nd time he said his NOSE hurt. Fool me once....so, out we went. He did great.
6 watched about 30 seconds of Beowulf (animated). Obviously produced by adolescent boys. That was yanked out by my wife (although I should have sone it sooner) and won't be enjoyed by this family.

More to come as I think of it...

A wife's insight...

There are so many things that have been occupying my mind that it kind of put me in a funk. I am struggling with the immaturity of the decisions where I work. I hate the house being in an “unfinished” state. I feel like I’ve given up so much to be here.  I often wonder if I came here for the right reasons.  My wife put it rather eloquently in an email to me recently while discussing the future of my older daughters. We have been discussing the idea of youth group and how it would fit into our life, if at all:

 

“Remember she's lost a lot coming here.  You lost money and power, we've lost relationships.   She's been very patient with a fantastic attitude.  I'm proud of her.”

 

I wouldn’t say that I didn’t lose relationships as well…but I notice that wasn’t listed as my loss. It was kind of like she honed right in on my poutiness. I do miss those things though I really hadn’t put my finger on it. I miss them very much especially considering the things I am struggling with. If I was in charge, I wouldn’t struggle with these decisions and some of the decisions of my peers. I would have the cash to reconcile the house. I would be able to enjoy the costly things of the state we live in. I never even associated that. I never realized how much I do miss that…and I haven’t had a fantastic attitude. What terrific women God has put in my life. A wife that helps and knows me better than myself, daughters that are selfless and patient with great attitudes.

 

Isn’t it so easy to get trapped by the things of this world. Not only that, but they eat at your insides and affect your character. Scripture says that where your treasure is, there your heart is also. Jesus, help me to change my treasure.

 

He's not out to get you, only me.

I guess I live my life like God is my dad and he’s watching me waiting for me to mess up so he can jump on top of me and correct it. While I guess that may be partially true, that doesn’t seem to foster a real healthy relationship. I mean, sure, the fear part is really amplified in that type of environment but what about the love part? That’s really how I live. I live in fear of consequence. It’s very difficult to spread wings, take chances, or love others when all you are doing is waiting for the Lord to swoop down and re-claim everything that is important to you. I heard a verse today on the end of a Lincoln Brewster song. It’s a child reciting Isaiah 40:31. It’s a popular verse but for some reason I heard it a little differently today.

The scripture is this:

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31. but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Those who HOPE in the Lord will renew their strength. What does it mean to “Hope” in the Lord? I can only surmise that it is synonymous to trust. Those who TRUST in the LORD will renew their strength. What does it mean to trust in the Lord? Wait for Him to swoop down from his lofty branch and swoop you up like an Owl would a mouse upon any mistake? I don’t think that’s what it means. There is something deeper there that will lead me to a more precious relationship with Him. I don’t think I shouldn’t fear the Lord…but, there has got to be more than being afraid all the time. After all, there are quite a few scriptures that state “fear not”. Why do I fear? What do I fear? I fear that a child of mine will be lost or ill…I fear that my wife will realize what a mistake she’s made. (She’s amazing). I fear that I will be exposed as a sham doing my job…I really don’t know what the heck is going on. I fear that the end of my days is near and I haven’t done the things that will allow the Lord to say, “Well done my good and faithful servant”. I am so glad that God is so longsuffering with me. How do you break the barrier of fear and simply trust? I don’t know.

Something's wrong

Every night I go to bed feeling like the day is wasted. I try to do the things that I have stated in previous posts but fail miserably. I seem to want the kids to be perfect all the time and I am very demanding of them. I am sure my wife goes to bed feeling very under appreciated.

I feel a lot of it has to do with the stupid TV. I plan on getting rid of DishTV very soon. I find that I am watching more ball games than reading bedtime stories. Tonight, my little boys just put themselves to bed when I told them to go get ready. Next thing I knew, the Rockets 22 game win streak was over and my boys were fast asleep. I didn't pray with them (again) and I didn't get to kiss them goodnight.

Well, I say it's the TV but I realize it's my lack of self discipline. I want to start exercising too but can't seem to make time. I want to study more but just dabble in my reading so I don't acquire as much information from reading materials as I would like AND I didn't fully follow the Rockets game. Maybe if I would have turned the game off or recorded it...but no.

Feel free to comment suggestions!

My meaning in life...

What could I do everyday whereby I would not consider it a wasted day?

Be a husband to my wife – Protect her, invest in her, trust her, love her.

Be a daddy to my children – Protect them, invest in them, teach them, love them.

Things I'd like to do

Or, things I wished I could do better. In no particular order

1. Understand my wife and girls
2. Grow more hair... um, on my head. (What's with hair growing ON your ear anyway)
3. Be more patient
4. Be wise
5. Know music
6. Understand technology more thoroughly
7. Study
8. Read more
9. Memorize more scripture
10. Work on the house instead of sit around
11. Buy a new camera
12. Load up on lenses
13. Get rid of my pc's and buy 2 macs...1 for me...1 for everyone else
14. Train up my kids
15. Teach them something valuable
16. Create lasting memories
17. Instill traditions
18. Lose my factiousness
19. Not be worried what others think about me
20. Coach all my sons teams
21. Learn like I used to be able to

How about you?

Why is it??

Why is it that no matter how stupid something is at work, or goes awry, or really aggravates me I usually keep my composure or react in a civil manner. However, whenever something goes wrong within my very special, sweet and precious family you'd think I had been violated in the worst way. I lash out viciously, taking no prisoners. HOW COULD THEY HAVE DONE SUCH A THING! or WHY DID YOU DO THAT!??!

Here are some examples:
1. The stereo is sounding pretty static filled as we are driving to Arizona and the podcast I was playing was barely audible when from the back seat a sweet, thoughtful question arises, "Dad, you want to borrow my MP3 player?" WHAT!!! How dare he ask such a question. Doesn't he know that he only has a 1GB MP3 player and I am playing my podcast from my super awesome 80GB IPOD???? Doesn't he know that it's not the player but the junky FM transceiver that we are using??? So, I say (in a very sarcastic, I mean VERY sarcastic tone) "Why would I need that when I have my Ipod?"
2. We are eating muffins at about 76 mph down I-25 toward Albuquerque when I look over and am apparently so appalled at what I see I lash out at my wonderful oldest daughter, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" as I spy her evilness pulling something off her muffin and putting it on a napkin. Doesn't she know that the car is already a mess? Doesn't she know that there is nothing like spinach in these wonderful tasting muffins? Why doesn't she think??
3. I am home from a long drive from Arizona...It's bed time...I am walking down stairs and find, are you prepared for this? It's not for the squeamish. I find 4 paper airplanes on the ground! There were 2 little boys that were making/playing with these not 30 minutes ago. I absolutely lose it. "Little boys, get down here!!" Don't they know our house is a mess? Don't they know how much work has to be done on it? Don't they see that added mess is so, so, so...messy???
4. I overhear my wife talking on the phone. The voice and tone she's using indicates it's not a friend that she's talking to...more like a phone sales person. But, she's being free with our information and talking about different times of day. "who was that?", I asked. She explains that it was a college kid that dropped by the house while I was gone that does some painting. She was going to get a free estimate. WHAT!!! Isn't it tough enough to try to protect this family and she is inviting potential murderers to our house? How could she be so naive? What is she thinking? So, I promptly and loudly made my opinions known!

Wow, aren't those 4 absolutely justifiable reasons for blowing your top and making everyone upset?

I don't understand why I can't keep my cool with my family at least as well as I do at work. I would prefer even better than work. Sad, huh???

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Funny Language

Here's something I noticed about language development in kids.

1. Guttural noises - 4 months to about a year
2. Sounding of words - around 1ish year old
3. Putting together sentences - this is around late 1 - 2 years old. They work really hard at this age to say things...and they usually talk a lot! My 2 year old says "That's hilarious"... and instead of Yes...she says "of course". She is quite a good talker. Then the next stage comes in.
4. When they turn about 4.5ish they start running words together and loudly mumbling. They substitute sounds for words..like Man, that was fast and went "whoosh vroom pow"...waving their arms in a wild circular motion. As they get more excited I find they say less and make more sound effects.
5. During the 5ish-7ish range they do little quirky things like repeat their sentences in a whisper after they say it out loud...So, you get 2 copies of it. The first at a normal volume, the second in a whisper under their breath as they listen to what they have just said. Something like, HEY DAD..."hey dad"...CAN WE WATCH STAR WARS.."can we watch star wars"...
6. Also, during this phase they try to use bigger words...so you get sentences that are kinda unique, like one day when LB was 6 or 7 she ran up the deck stairs to tell me something she thought was very groundbreaking and profound. Apparently my response or lack thereof caused her to form one of these unique sentences...as she reported to her siblings, "He wasn't compressed".
7. Phase 6 kind of goes on until they are teens...funny sentences and profound words come from their mouths. Life experiences are now the topic of language expression - "Wow, have you ever eaten at a Carls Jr? They have the best Jalapeno burgers" (pronounced J longA lepeno) Apparently, when you read a word and don't associate it correctly and think it's something you've never heard of...you don't have a guideline on proper pronunciation.
8. Then, as you get old, you have developed several bad habits that annoy the fire out of the best of friends...Like saying the word "else". But saying it ELTZ with an exaggerated T sound in it. I learned that I did this last year. It's a hard transition to say it without the T sound.

So, there you have it. My observations of the development of language.

VOIP phones down!

Well, the phones were down today. Of course, the primary network VOIP phone guy is in Western Colorado, the boss (who's a phone guy at heart) is in a seminar downtown. If I was a phone system, that's when I'd pick to go down! It really brought a lot of things to light about the "company". We definitely have silos of information. We are poorly documented. We have poor communications methods with our user base. I have little understanding about the significance of downtime to correct issues here.

I guess that what happens when you are relatively new. You have to try to guess what the boss would think is ok and make decisions that seem appropriate for the company you are at now. Experience goes out the window because you have to be a mind reader. Things I think are important rarely seem to be. Things that seem trivial get everyone in an uproar. So far I think I have a .125 batting average at guessing. Man it's frustrating.

Recent goins on

Ever struggle with concentration? I have been a lot lately. It seems that when I have a lot to do, I try to do something but think about everything else I have to do. That has been very counterproductive for me. I recall a sayin' that goes..."don't think of ALL you have to do. Just what you are going to do now" or something like that. Man, those are easy words to type and say. I have tried to put them into practice but it's just not that easy.

I am also struggling with this Bible study that I am working on. I really have a hard time relating to the authors and their overall lack of scriptural reference. I dislike their sense of humor (maybe it's too much like mine) and their pushing of ideas that seem flawed to me. The book is called "Truefaced". Read it and let me know what you think. I am probably way off base on this one.

Mayf learnt ta ride a bike this weekend. That is until he had a funniest home video moment. Unfortunately, we weren't filming though so I won't be 10K richer. All we heard was him yelling, "I WANT TO GET OFF NOW"... as he's headed in the general direction of our parked van and suv. Next there was a loud THUMP... then:

Well, needless to say he was done. Who could blame him. He had fallen several times before but gotten right back on. He did great..he was just tired of the thumpin.