He's not out to get you, only me.

I guess I live my life like God is my dad and he’s watching me waiting for me to mess up so he can jump on top of me and correct it. While I guess that may be partially true, that doesn’t seem to foster a real healthy relationship. I mean, sure, the fear part is really amplified in that type of environment but what about the love part? That’s really how I live. I live in fear of consequence. It’s very difficult to spread wings, take chances, or love others when all you are doing is waiting for the Lord to swoop down and re-claim everything that is important to you. I heard a verse today on the end of a Lincoln Brewster song. It’s a child reciting Isaiah 40:31. It’s a popular verse but for some reason I heard it a little differently today.

The scripture is this:

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31. but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Those who HOPE in the Lord will renew their strength. What does it mean to “Hope” in the Lord? I can only surmise that it is synonymous to trust. Those who TRUST in the LORD will renew their strength. What does it mean to trust in the Lord? Wait for Him to swoop down from his lofty branch and swoop you up like an Owl would a mouse upon any mistake? I don’t think that’s what it means. There is something deeper there that will lead me to a more precious relationship with Him. I don’t think I shouldn’t fear the Lord…but, there has got to be more than being afraid all the time. After all, there are quite a few scriptures that state “fear not”. Why do I fear? What do I fear? I fear that a child of mine will be lost or ill…I fear that my wife will realize what a mistake she’s made. (She’s amazing). I fear that I will be exposed as a sham doing my job…I really don’t know what the heck is going on. I fear that the end of my days is near and I haven’t done the things that will allow the Lord to say, “Well done my good and faithful servant”. I am so glad that God is so longsuffering with me. How do you break the barrier of fear and simply trust? I don’t know.