Wow…it’s a busy time in life. But, there are so many times where it seems I’m bored. I seek out things to do that aren’t very involved or won’t suck up a lot of time just to find that I those minutes were wasted. I have been spending more time defaulting to a couple of hobbies to remedy this listlessness. I am pretty happy with this…. But, hope I can remember to always do the important things over the things that I simply like. I think that the biggest draw right now it my sweet brides interest in expanding our family. It seems God’s best for us is to close the womb. Temporarily or not, it’s what’s going on and while we did make sure there weren’t any medical issues…we are going to try to be faithful and live with that.
My wife has been extremely active in working with youth proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ. She’s a woman on fire, with a mission and executing! Have you seen the commercial where the car is dragging the big anchor down the freeway and the two cops guess 15mph….well, I’m the anchor in this relationship. To some degree I think that it’s healthy to have one of us being on fire and all out and the other with a brake on the handle . I mean, sometimes we can get carried away and we need the reasoning efforts of the one NOT on fire. I am not sure it’s the case with this. I am feeling more like the commercial…everything should be traveling at certain speed and I am keeping it slow.
Here’s the thing. I don’t feel like NOW is the time. I do feel that there will be a time but, I don’t know when.
I think about how things have transpired over the years and there have been decisions that I “went along” with that turned out to be not the best decisions. Not that things were “wrong” when I went along with them. But, maybe took us on a detour that caused grief, work or a hard learned lesson from the Lord. The first example is when I had a vasectomy. Even in the doctor’s office I looked at my wife and asked, “are you sure this is the right thing?” – “Yep” without hesitation. Well, if you know me at all we spent hours studying, being convicted, spending a lot of money, and enduring some considerable pain to say, “oops, that wasn’t right”. Without a doubt I feel that the path we chose helped shape me into who I am now. But, the truth is that I knew it wasn’t right to begin with…but, went along with it.
Then, there was moving to and from Colorado. The move out was less a thing…but, as we got out there, it was discovered that our reasoning was flawed…but, coming back, I really felt again that I was going along and not making the decisions I should. I am NOT saying that I wish we hadn’t done some of this…but, I am saying that I failed to go with “the gut”…and did what was most pleasing.
It’s just very busy.
