What is it in me that does this?

Yesterday I found my headphones. I had been looking for them for about a month. I was happy. Should be, the end...headphones lost, searched, headphones found...happy!
 
For some reason, I started to recall my thoughts when I discovered they were lost. I am sure this happens to everyone, but as soon as I lost them I immediately began looking at those around me as suspects to the crime. Yes, crime. They STOLE my headphones. Yeah, I know...these headphones are the ones you jam in your ear and your earwax keeps them nice and snug...so, who'd want them, right? But, they ARE skull candy headphones. Not exactly the 9.99 specials. A little alcohol and they'd be as good as new...ok, maybe 2 treatments with alcohol...anyways, I digress...
 
STOLEN, because I knew I took excellent care of them and wouldn't misplace them so easily. I keep them in the cool little zipper case and everything. Like I said, they aren't the 9.99 cheapies and I take care of my junk... So, knowing all of that, you'd probably come to the same conclusion I came to...stolen. Yep.
 
Well you already know the end of the story, I found them. Apparently, they were too taken care of when I put them in my backpack. And, of course, as soon as I found them I remembered why I put them there. But, this post isn't about the headphones, it's about the thoughts that go from - "What did I do with them?" - to "What has SOMEONE ELSE done to me!?!!"
 
Thanks to Adam, father of us all, we are in a fallen world. Truthfully, if he hadn't a goofed it up, someone right behind him would have....and if not right behind him and everything was perfect, I would be the one. But, that's conjecture...Adam get's the "credit". In any case, sin abounds doesn't it? And the issue is that we all put ourselves on some sort of pedestal. We put ourselves beyond mistakes and personal ineptness and make ourselves victims. In Matthew 23:22-24 English Standard Version (ESV) states - ²² And whoever swears by heaven swears by the throne of God and by him who sits upon it.²³  "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others. ²⁴ You blind guides, straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!
 
Yeah, what the heck does that have to do with this blog? Well, you probably already have figured it out. But, for me, it wasn't totally obvious. The principal issue is that the Pharisees were making/observing laws that were convenient to them while making them appear righteous and make it look like they were going the extra mile. Doing all that God required plus all the stuff that He "forgot" to tell Moses to tell us - yet the obvious, the "ought to", the "duh" is that we neglect the absolutely critical ones, the ones that are from Him...and in doing so have swallowed an unclean animal while picking out a tiny morsel of badness...That's me. This isn't a scripture that you say, "AHA! That's what I am doing." My headphones were lost. The obvious is that I lost them...yet I am righteous to myself and have blamed another for the loss - I was looking outside of the obvious...then swallowed crow, I mean a camel, when I found them.
 
 

What upsets you most?

I am listening to a book called "Not a Fan" - by Kyle Idleman. It's an extremely good listen although I am not finished yet. He was asking a series of questions geared toward identifying if Jesus is the appropriate recipient of the correct amount of affection and devotion...(which is all of it...I'll probably talk about that another time). One of the questions was "What upsets you most?".

 

One of the things I tend to do whether I am reading a book or listening to it is try to anticipate where the author is heading. But, when he asked what made me upset, I was thrown for a loop. Then he shared a story that was WAY to close to home. The summary of the story goes like this:

 

A father took his son fishing. His son was extremely excited to get to go and spend time with his dad. However, it was a bad day of fishing, They didn't get a single bite and as the day came to a close they packed up and headed home. The father was visibly irritated although silent.

 

The end.

 

Well, almost. Idleman went on to explain the meaning of the story. See, the point is that the father was more interested in catching fish than spending time with his son. Yeah, that's the point.

 

Now, back to my life and how that sentence affects me. First of all, because of who I am, I would slightly argue that just because they didn't catch fish and the dad was upset didn't mean that he didn't enjoy spending time withi his son. But, that's probably just because I am SO guilty of that behavior. When we get upset about something it's reflecting how strongly we feel robbed of the privilege of the success of the encounter. Was the encounter of the story to catch fish or build a relationship with his son? As I rewind this over and over again, I tend to agree more with Idleman. Then I rewind the past few weeks of my life..outbursts on the basketball court, disappointment in decisions of my children, dissatisfaction on how many times they have to be told something to get it right. All this highlights that I want things to be my way. I want to win, I want my kids to be intelligent, I want them to learn quickly....those things or ideas become more important than the person of my kids - and I get angry when they don't happen like I think they should.

 

That's the same in our relationship with the Lord. Am I putting myself and my desires above my commitment to follow Jesus. Are my frustrations actually just me throwing a fit about MY situation...