A Good Friend

Yesterday, an old friend of mine called from Arkansas. He was just checking up on me and seeing how I was doing. It really made me miss the kind of days I used to have when around him. Since we worked together, that was everyday. I was just thinking this morning of some of the things that we used to do during the workday that had nothing to do with work:

·         Talk about what we’ve read in the Bible.

·         Ask each other for advice on things we would be struggling with at the time.

·         Get corrected on an incorrect action.

·         Hold each other accountable.

·         Pray for each other and others.

I guess the main thing that was always happening was that he was making me be a better me. We kept and eye on each other…our countenance, sins, attitude, etc. Not out of spite or to hold it over each other, but because he loved me like a brother. He authentically knew what I wanted and wanted to help me become that person. I tried to be the same to him…but, often fell short.

 

There is no doubt in my mind that we will be friends forever, but I can see how far I’ve “slid” even after just a phone conversation.

 

I highly recommend that type of friendship with someone.

Temporary Conclusion

Chapter 1 – Continued dissonance

As I was having lunch I blurt out, “I can’t believe nobody has owned up to leaving that game out….STILL!”

 

My oldest son says, “I know who did it”.

“Yeah? How?” says I.

“He told me.”

 

Chapter 2 - A glimmer of hope

I ask a general question to all those around the table, “Well, who admits to leaving the game out?”

JD pipes in as he’s slamming down a chicken leg, “Me.”

“Excuse me?”

“I did it.” He says as he takes another bite of some delicious chicken (BTW – Honey, you need to make that more often! It is THE bomb!!)

 

Chapter 3 – Shattered hope

As many emotions are travelling through my cerebellum…the primary emotion is, as expected I’m sure, anger. How can he make so light of the situation? He’s just answering like he doesn’t care and it’s no big deal.

“Do you remember that EVERYONE got in trouble for that?”

As he grabs his cup to take a drink.. “Yep.”

 

Chapter 4 – Revenge of the daddy

At this point I can not stand it any longer and I demand his attention. He looks at me in surprise (imagine that) that I am being serious about this. I make things very clear and I can tell that he’s repentant, he was disappointed in his behavior, etc. I also explained to JM about betrayal a little bit more. That he should encourage the guilty party to confess and help him do the right thing. But, don’t betray him and “turn him in”…Win him over and help him do the right thing…

 

In the end….at least for this episode…JD got it in the end. Hopefully, lessoned learned.

What 2 do?

“Who left this game out?” – a really harmless question seeking who needs correction with a few words, direction and perhaps a little sternness for the one who was guilty.

 

“Chirp, Chirp” go the crickets.

 

 Silence…3 little boys stare at me not saying a word. Then one of them states, “I got it out, but so and so wanted to play with it” Then so and so states “Nu-uh, you didn’t say that”.

 

Ok, at this point it’s pretty clear who the guilty party is. However, the stern side of me really wants a confession from the guilty party…It’s still not to the point of punishment as long as the correct attitude and heart is there…Defcon 2

 

“Chirp, Chirp” go the crickets.

 

More silence. When I discussed my flaws in previous postings I am not sure I made clear how “Firm” I am with discipline and obedience. I also want to raise MEN..not boys.  Even though they are 4, 6 and 7 I feel this is an EXTREMELY valuable time to stress how a man takes responsibility for his actions. Even if there is the prospect of punishment, the ability to step up and face the consequences of his actions is a very basic step to manhood. This is essential and no time is to early to understand honor, valor and truth.

 

“Chirp, Chirp” go the crickets.

 

So the awkwardness of 3 little boys looking at each other waiting for the guilty boy to step up and be a man is suddenly broken by the oldest of the 3 saying, “So and So was….” I interrupt as another “Manhood” lesson avails itself. “You don’t betray your brothers and sisters” I bark out…

 

“Every kid in the house needs to come right here”… Obviously, I have escalated to Defcon 3. I need to be absolutely sure that who I think is guilty is indeed the guilty person.

 

Kids bust out of the woodwork and enter my office…I stare at the game and say very boldly, “Who left this game here?”

 

“Chirp, Chirp”

 

At this point, I am in disbelief. I can not believe nobody is stepping up to own this. What started out as a simple question has now launched to DEFCON 5 (forget Defcon 4). The keys are ready to be turned and nuclear missles launched. How did it get to this. Where have I messed up in the raising of these little ones that the guilty party would rather everyone be in trouble than admit his fault.

 

I know who did it, but everyone had to face the consequence…yes, a very Draconian and military tactic. However, there has still not been a word from the guilty little boy. So what do I do next? I am praying about this and it is primarily on my thoughts since it’s happened. It’s unresolved. Lessons aren’t learned, things haven’t been said that need to be. I need those words. I don’t have them.

 

This story isn’t finished yet…. I’ll keep you updated with what happens.

Things I've learned working with ONLY Christians

One of the main things that attracted me to the University I work for is that everyone must sign a statement of faith. The statement is along the lines of; I believe that Jesus is the son of God, that he was raised from the dead, that he is the ONLY way to the Father, etc. Since I have been here for over a year now I thought I’d try to summarize this.  Here are the things that I’ve learned about working with those type of similar minded believers.

 

1.       We are SIMILARLY minded. That doesn’t mean that everyone is convicted in the same manner over the same things.

2.       I have heard VERY FEW swear words…Few, not none…see number 1.

3.       Regarding number 2 – being away from the plethora of swearing afforded by previous places of employment really makes me sensitive to hearing it now…I have even found it’s more offensive than before.

4.       Pride exists just as heavily here as it does in fortune 500 companies.

5.       There are still people that you just don’t like.

6.       People are still driven by lust for the flesh, pride of life and lust of the eyes. It’s not as prevalent…but, it’s there and It’s just as ugly.

 

I am driven to a weird place here. It’s one of those things where you feel OBLIGATED to say something..but, it’s just as ugly as addressing this among non-believers. It’s a strange sensation…

 

CS Lewis states (paraphrased) that if you love for God’s sake another person that you don’t really love…but act as you do love them..you’ll begin to love them. If you act ugly to a person that you don’t like, you’ll like them less. Good and evil increase at compound interest.

 

That’s not to say that makes anything easy here…The only thing more touchy than a hard headed non-believer is a hard headed believer.

 

Frustration continues!

1. I wonder if all my frustrations come from pride? I blogged about it recently and it's still true today. When I have an idea that, in my mind, should be used for the benefit of many and isn't, I get very frustrated.

2. My wife is having hard times with the miscarriage and how it's in its final stages. We discussed a memorial for him and decided to get a bronzed baby boot with his name on it. She ordered it the other day. I have friends that have had several miscarriages...I don't know how they were able to cope. They must be a lot stronger than me.

3. Anger/frustration in my oldest boy... I definitely see too much of me in my oldest son. When we play soccer or any game he gets very frustrated with his siblings and is constantly "barking" at them. Another thing he does is complains that things aren't fair that, well, aren't fair. But, I want him to overcome and not complain. (Gee, sounds like number 1 in this list, eh??? - I just noticed that.) I knew this blog would be good for me! That's amazing revelation!!

Anyway, please pray that my son and I would resolve OUR prideful issues. Thanks!

What do YOU do?

Let's say you work at this place that is fairly efficient. This place is very old school...but wants to be less so. They are dealing with educated people yet want to continue training them using very archaic and cost prohibitive methods? You make a tried and proven recommendation and it's summarily dismissed...

What would YOU do??

Miscellaneous

My trade wars ship was destroyed. I got impatient and thought that JT Wingalmostman was still in the sector when, in fact, he was totally dead. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about and it doesn't matter...but, man, I really liked my ship. It had transwarp drive and everything. :-(

Work has been intense lately. Schools about to start and everyone's freakin out to make it just right. There are so many things that we do that really irritate me (see last blog entry). But, it is what it is.

We have no dollars and things have been tight...but good in a way where you deny yourself and rely on each other and that sort of thing.

Miscellaneous:
Family time is fun, olympic basketball team is doing well, olympic soccer men =bad, garden is producing nicely, wife got a funny haircut...but it'll grow back, just not fast enough. Laney got a cute haircut. Water heater has been working for a while since the boy saved us money (blog about it below), Dishwasher will hopefully be doing better since the maint man repaired something on it. I got a birthday present from my mom, returned it since I already had one and bought a real nice trunk for the van. It's a hitch attached plastic carrier thingy...nice....Kids are loving the box it came in and having a ton of fun in it. Fence blew over and I don't know how to fix it...I think I need some kind of masonry screws or something since the fence posts are filled with concrete. My office is a huge mess. OH YEAH..get this...

Well Sunday (last Sunday) was my debut as a member of the worship team. Some of you may know that I am now a drummer. I have played guitar for years but there are already 2 guys on guitar...gee, 3 would be monotonous. So, they wanted a drummer, I want to drum...perfect fit. Well, we are having a rather bad time since I really can't hear anything. I can't hear them, I can't hear me..it's not a good thing. Well, the 1st few songs I really kind of struggle and I'm starting to sweat...Then, we start playing "I Love You Lord". GREAT HYMN....horrible song for drums. Well, I try this thing on drums where I decide to "build it up" and play the first verse without a snare..then 2nd verse add a rim shot...the 3rd verse I am really going to come in strong and add the snare and bass drum, etc. Just as I start slamming these drums, I realize that APPARENTLY, the worship leader said something to the effect of "just our voices"... nice... Well, I couldn't just stop because it would appear that we didn't know what we were doing...so, I did the next best thing, panicked. I stopped playing everything except the bass drum and high hat. I don't know if you know the song but, they were trying to do it all feely like and hold different words like, I loooooooovvvvveeeeee you LLLLOOORRRRRDDDDDD. I mean, I butchered it...It was impossible to play to it...But I wouldn't stop! Stupid. Anyway, then we were supposed to go sit down. I did my best not to make any eye contact on the way to the pew. I am sure I'll be asked revoke my church membership...

My major flaw...

I know what you are thinking...but, yep I have flaws! ;-) Ok...so perhaps you were thinking a little more honestly and know exactly what the flaws are I'm referring to. But, for the fortunate few who don't know me as well, here is my HUMONGOUSLY large flaw... My wife actually put it into words for me tonight in a conversation in my cool office. (It's messy now but that's not my fault) The story kind of went like this:

Me: Is it prideful that I think I could coach better than my oldest sons soccer coach? (This is a blog post waiting to happen...I'll get to it later)

Her: Well, Honey, it's like this. You are what the Such and Such author's refer to as a visionary.

Ok, that sounds like a compliment, doesn't it. I'm not done with her quote yet...

Her: A visionary, according to such and such, is a person that has good ideas and loves to get them started...then, putters out and hope someone else takes over.

OUCH!

Me: Examples please?

Her: (I'll paraphrase this) A bajillion things named off here....

Me: Seriously.

Her: ..grin..

Ok...so we talk a bit more to delve to the heart of the issue and this is what my biggest flaw is described as by my wife:

Her: (paraphrased) "You have the tendency to hear a problem or be in a situation or observe something and think that you can do it better or fix it better or whatever better."

Me: ..blank stare..

Wasn't that a fun conversation to be on the receiving end of? As we talked more and I thought about it more, I would have to agree that it is my biggest flaw and she's right. I do it at work, kids soccer, home, church, when something is on TV....whenever there is something that pops up...Here's my latest rant:

HORSES - everyone is trying to come up with a new way to save gas. I say, get rid of cars. Take what we know now about kinetic energy and rig up something for these powerful animals to harness their power and transfer it to locomotion. An example, a treadmill type apparatus that has a transfer case with gears. So, the faster you'd want to go you'd incline the treadmill that the horses are on, and they wouldn't have to walk faster, just use more power and transfer that with gearing to move faster. Use what we know with light plastics, batteries, etc to come up with a new fangled carriage that protects the horses from the elements and seats passengers in a totally separate compartment and is very lightweight. You could even have air conditioning, shock absorbers, windows, stereos.

It would be awesome. (This is copyrighted by ME!! Don't even think about stealing it!)

I imagine that most folks reading this already knew my most major flaw. The cool part is that it's true...I do have better ideas! LOL....

Interesting Listen

As a birthday present, my 2^nd oldest very sweet daughter gave me a $25 itunes card. I love these things. However, since there wasn’t any music that I was just aching to have, I took a different turn. I started looking at audio books. It’s like reading, except you don’t have to!! Someone actually reads it to you. I know it’s been around forever…way back in 95 I was listening to them on cassette tape as I drove back and forth to Arkansas..But, it’s still a great idea. I don’t have to waste my time just sitting there reading. Anyway, I was looking around and stumbled upon CS Lewis’ Mere Christianity….Done. Download, sync, listen.

 

The book has been great. What an amazing thinker ol’ Clive was. They even have this guy reading it that speaks with a very English accent and since he’s an outstanding reader it seems like he’s CS himself talking to you about the book…Anyway, 2 Tagg thumbs way up so far.

 

I guess one problem that I see with audio books is that they are just as expensive as real books and you can’t pass them around to your friends. Something must be done about that….

 

Does anyone else have any recommendations on audio books?

Thanks

Thanks for the thoughts, notes, comments and prayers in regards to our loss. You guys are the best.