Crying over spilled milk is good - to me.

I have been thinking a lot lately of how I have been with my kids. I have been relatively short and abrupt… perhaps not as often as before, but, I don’t think that quantity matters in regards to such things. My heart really desires to be patient and kind…like a TV dad. That’s not me though.  I hope that I do the things I do to make them better at…well, at life.

 

Here’s a funny story: Mayf was sitting at the table and suddenly his cup slams the table, he’s all wet and his cup falls to the ground. By the time I look at him he is already looking at me and defending himself, “I was just holding the cup right and it did this”. LOL He was immediately distraught and just kind of hung his head. “Mayf, “ says I…”how about getting it cleaned up?” “ok”. A little later I overhear him telling his mom, “I was just holding the cup correctly and it spilled. <sniff> ”

 

In my house, spilled milk is something to cry about. I really don’t jump them too badly, but I do want them to know that being careful and mindful is part of their responsibility. Carelessness is something that’s kind of important, but most don’t agree. To me it’s like saying, go ahead and cross the street whenever you want. I want you to be careful, but if you look occasionally and you happen to get hit by a car and maimed for life or killed, it’ll be just fine you’ll do better next time. I know you really didn’t WANT to get hit by the car sweetie. WHATEVER!!! Nope, responsibility and being careful is either important or it’s not. How confusing is it to a child to say, this is very important and I want to you FULLY consider this everytime…don’t screw this up. Those things over there, if you mess up I’ll give you a hug and say it’s ok. So, in my house…when you spill milk you get a slight tongue lashing and a crooked eye from dad and told to be careful and mindful of what you are doing. Being careful and mindful spreads from spilling milk to putting away scissors, to riding their bike in the street, to driving cars. It’s a mindset that can be learned. As the Star Wars saga carefully repeats to it’s padawan learners “Be mindful young padawan …”  Even in poorly written space sagas they teach their young ones to be thoughtful and not absent minded.

 

Now, I agree with the fact that kids NEED to make mistakes. And spilled milk is one of those absolutely harmless things that afford a great opportunity at a minimal threat to life. The ratio is perfect. Low risk to child injury to very high great life lesson. When I think of other mistakes that teach life lessons like burning your hand on the stove, not looking where you are going when you ride your bike, changing the radio station or talking on your cell phone as you drive through a school zone….crying over spilled milk doesn’t seem so bad to me.