What would they say?

I am trying to figure out how I feel about leaving, 1) my job 2) my church...
1. This is fairly easy - I more than likely haven't been a good example. Probably way too prideful there. Mostly thinking that I could offer a lot more than they cared to listen to! ;-) Typical of me really and really, this is probably the answer for both questions, but...

2. My church is a little different - as I was thinking about it I started getting disappointed. I know my pastor would consider this arrogance. But, it wasn't like that ... it was a sad disappointed and not because I was leaving and not coming back, but for those that were staying. WAIT, don't start balling me out yet...Here's what I am talking about; as I was studying the congregation from behind the drums here's what I noticed every week - when we sang praise songs, certain older folks refuse to sing. Their arms are crossed and they actually have a scowl on their face. The younger folks sing along as expected. When we sing hymns those same folks may uncross their arms, but rarely utter a word, and as I look at the younger crowd, they are singing along. I started thinking of how this ties into scripture. How the older folks are to teach the younger, be examples. What are they teaching me, what is the example they are trying to set? So, in this example, I wondered if given the microphone and the opportunity to say farewell, how exactly would it go?

Here's what I thought of: "When I first visited here without my family I thought that this wasn't the church for me. I didn't like the tone of the worship and the teaching was good..but, at this point, most of the churches I visited had good preaching/teaching. Except this one where all they talked about was their new building and how they needed to really give so they could complete it. I kinda crossed that one off the list quickly. ;-) But, honestly, based on location, this one made the top 3. So, when my family arrived, we visited each of the churches and I let the family decide where they wanted to attend. The kids loved the size of AHBC and it appeared that most of the older ladies just loved the kids. So, we sank into this church for a while. After a few times, I started to take a look around and get excited about the opportunity to be mentored or discipled to some degree by the older men in the church. The ladies were active, I could only assume the men were. After I attended an evening study a few times for the men, I learned that the older men didn't usually participate. I tried to make a go of it, but quickly lost interest in the book that was being studied. It appears that I philosophically disagreed with a lot of the book. My problem, not the books or the guys there for sure. Fast forward 1.5 years to today. Still the same thing, there are none of the older men involved in anything that I see except for a monthly luncheon..where just one or 2 may show up. But, I usually don't attend that since it's in the middle of the day and I am usually at work. Whatever seems to happen that is church sponsored, it's always the same 10 or so core folks (rarely any of the older men). So the questions come up: 1. Did I leave anything behind that may have been a blessing or a work for the Lord 2. Was there anything that I can take away from the church to build my relationship with the Lord? In regards to number 1. I don't know. I tried. I wanted to. I hope I did or helped or something. 2. This is what this letter to myself all comes down to. The answer is yes, there are many things. I had been working on developing a fantastic relationship with the pastor. He's guided and helped me tons. His heart appears to be truly for the Lord and the body that he pastors. But, I also learned some very negative things that I hope to turn around and make good in my life. I hope for all the folks that were scowlers, that for their sakes, when we get to heaven and we are worshipping the Lord together, that Jesus prefers hymns and speaks using "thee and thou". If he likes modern worship, some folks will just absolutely not be happy. :-)

While there is a hint of sarcasm to a lot of this, I do mean that I am bit disappointed that we couldn't help them with what they needed. (Whatever that would have been.) But, there were soooo many that were far above the bar. The women, especially the older ladies, of the church are AMAZING. Us men should take notes.

Fare well, AHBC, do not let the letter of John be true of you, burn hot for the Lord!!

14"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."