Mortality...

I was staring at my facebook prompt "what's on your mind?" it asks. Oh...so many things. But, I guess as this season of my life develops, mortality has begun to tickle my fancy. Not necessarily in a negative way, but in an enlightening way. Sometimes though, enlightenment can bring a bit of sadness, regret and even excitement about tomorrow. It gives me the education and information to try to do better than I did yesterday for God's glory, for God's purpose. As we said our goodbye's to our church in preparation for our departure from this beautiful state, it kind of struck me. I noticed that my oldest daughter is looking more like a woman, for that matter, my second oldest daughter is too. My ageless wife is stuck with a widening, balding guy that acts more like a kid than a responsible person. So, at this time, I think of all the things that I am in the process of regretting...in other words, the things that I am doing right now that if left unchecked would cause regret in the future. My dadness...As I look at the little women in our family I notice that they are well trained, groomed, friendly, sociable and well liked. I realize that I can take none of the credit. My God and my wife have done a simply amazing job. There are literally 4 women in my house that can take care of EVERYTHING that goes on in the home. Well done wife! As I pan over to the boys and reflect on what I have been training them in, I definitely feel blessed. See, I have done zero training in anything besides: soccer, playing, airsoft, America's army, FIFA xbox games, baseball, wiffle ball, football....not a very good list. I mean, this is what every dad that's NOT a Christian does. I feel like I am failing in so many areas with them. By God's grace I notice that they are the same as their sisters though. They appear well trained, well liked, polite, almost chivalrous...None of that has come from me. I long for those things in MY life. Looking around the church lunchroom was a fantastic glimpse into God's mercy and grace. As some folks approached me to wish me well they identify my family as a part of me. They are my extension...is that healthy? I don't really care. I love that they are my family and they ARE part of me as I am part of them. I guess that's why it's called a family! ;-) I am so impressed with them myself and as they spill out compliments of my wife and children, I can only agree with them. How the heck did that happen? Who's kids are those anyway??? God has been an integral part of their lives and He spills out of them frequently...God's grace. Hold on, I am starting to drift here...let me get back on track. Every struggle that occurs in my house is generated by me, my selfishness that has rubbed off and been picked up by my precious sons and sweet, beautiful daughters. Frustrations that they get the brunt of...Reactions to situations handled in ungodly ways. Regret....simply. The encouragement that I feel is that I have been informed...now, I must act. The musician Matthew West wrote: I don't wanna go through the motions I don't wanna go one more day Without your all consuming passion inside of me I don't wanna spend my whole life asking What if I had given everything Instead of going through the motions My emotions are running wild....you might be asking what does this have to do with mortality. Well, simply, if I died tomorrow what legacy would I leave behind. How would I be remembered? Would my kids remember anything that I taught them? Is what I taught them important at all? Am I doing my Godly duty as a father and husband? You know everyone dies...without exception. Big deal, right? But, the things that are important are what you did while you were alive and what you left behind. Not in the form of a statue or famous accomplishment....but, how you trained the next generation. How you made a difference in how they would live, serve and love others. Did you do your best to "raise a Godly seed"? Did you drop the responsibility elsewhere as you worried about your own goals and initiatives? While I don't put much stock into this movie I am about to quote, there is a great awakening moment that seems apropos...The movie is "Dead poets society"; Keating: "Seize the day. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may." Why does the writer use these lines? Charlie: Because he's in a hurry. Keating: No. Ding! Thank you for playing anyway. Because we are food for worms, lads. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold and die. It was Keatings way of trying to awaken his students into "ceasing the day"...and living this life the most and best they could. Do you ever have days where you don't recall that you actually did anything? Maybe you spent a few hours watching TV or a movie. Maybe spent it doing "something"...but, nothing of consequence? Funny, the definition of spent: 1. to pay out, disburse, or expend; dispose of (money, wealth, resources, etc.): resisting the temptation to spend one's money. 2. to employ (labor, thought, words, time, etc.), as on some object or in some proceeding: Don't spend much time on it. 3. to pass (time) in a particular manner, place, etc.: We spent a few days in Baltimore. 4. to use up, consume, or exhaust: The storm had spent its fury. 5. to give (one's blood, life, etc.) for some cause. I guess I am rambling. I feel like I can continue on in this for some time. But, I'll stop for now. I guess the principle point I am trying to make is this: Do not regret. Don't do something and wish you hadn't. Don't NOT do something and wish you had. Give an effort, give your all. These are the things that I am trying to apply in my life. I want to give my all. If I have a death bed, I don't want any regrets...because it's too late to do anything about it then. There are a ton of good and bad anecdotes regarding death bed sayings...my favorite is "You'll never hear someone say on their deathbed, if I could have only spent more time in the office" Have you had any thoughts on this subject?

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