Attitude

It's quite obvious that things happening in ones life can be reflected in their attitude. Perhaps they shouldn't, but in my case, I usually wear my feelings on my sleeve. It's amazing how hard it can be to alter the attitude without altering the happenings as well. What I mean is it's hard to adjust to the NEW happenings by just making a change in my attitude. Usually, I have to get rid of the stuff that is altering my attitude. Lately, I have been extremely terse, short, and generally cranky. When I reflect on the cause it points to how my life is upside down, how I am struggling with managing time, how my bible study times have been practically eliminated (they are now just reviews for teaching...not my own relationship) and how tired I am when it's bed time. Other things come to light as well; I am not spending quality time with my kids, there is no exercise to speak of, and the guilt of not being more studious really tugs at me. These all exacerbate the condition and a vicious cycle is created.

In my most public role, a youth soccer coach to 14 kids, it's even become evident. I had worked hard on not yelling at my kids in the past years. (Not that I was perfect)...but, would try to encourage the good and not blast out on the bad. With this condition I am in, I have absolutely regressed. It's so disappointing. But, this last game, I had added strength...It was a much more enjoyable environment for everyone.

So, as I try to point to the good and not the bad...please have patience with me. I have somewhat fallen off the wagon and I'm racing to try to jump back on. :-)

Thanks!