Very busy

Well, I’ve been very busy lately. The job I work to put food on the table and such hasn’t been the culprit this time it’s been the part time job that consumes all my time. It’s a bit overwhelming…and to top it off, I don’t feel I put in the time for studies that I need  in order to ensure a quality lesson. So, there’s the weight of that as well. And for the icing on the cake, I don’t get the time with my own littles and when I do get the time I usually am so tired of the silliness and being “nice” that I am short with them. I am sure it makes for a pleasant experience for everyone. I definitely need to learn a balance with this. My thoughts plain and simple are: 1. My biological kids are missing out 2. The kids I am ministering to are needing more than I have to offer.

It must be an interesting dynamic for my family. I have always been the kind of dad that has very high expectations for his kids in everything. For them to participate in the ministry and see me be so “lenient” must be weird. I hope they realize that I am lenient in this way so I won’t treat the kids we minister to like the world treats them…always saying no, shut up, get out, etc. I want them to know that they are loved, wanted, important – yet they are so untrained and are inconsiderate, inappropriate and indecent for the most part. And similarly I am untrained in ministry…so, it’s an “interesting” combination. But, to have my kids see this…I wonder what they think . But, I don’t have time to ask them anyway… Poor, pitiful me, right? Yeah, I know.

It must be time to thin things out a bit, but, I don’t really know where to start. Well, that’s not entirely true, it’s just a place that I cling too tightly to and don’t want to give up. The things that consume my time when I am not working are entertainment type things – watching NFL, soccer, instructional guitar videos, golf lesson videos, looking on amazon for things to buy, searching craigslist for a riding mower and tiller, watching funny pranks on youtube. (Speaking of which look for the Brazilian elevator pranks…funny stuff). See how important that stuff is? Why should I have to give that stuff up? Well, the answer is obvious I guess..I just have to swallow the truth. The “why” is in paragraph one…the “why not” is my selfishness wanting the things I want.

I think one of the most amazing things about being a believer in Jesus is that fact that when we think we are losing something or sacrificing for His sake, we typically find out it’s for our own benefit. Kind of like the whole Sabbath for man thing. There are many things in life that are beneficial to me but I cling to the things that I believe I like because I am too ignorant to know any differently. Isn’t this one of the ways that God is audible?

Yesterday I learned of Thomas Chalmers paper on “The expulsive power of a new affection”. It’s where we make more room for the Love of God or the presense of God or the knowledge of God in our lives…and by it’s expansiveness, removes, by its nature, stuff that won’t fit anymore. It, in essence, squeezes it out. I used an illustration in church, a poor one but it was the only one I could think of…where you have a milk crate and that milk crate represents your life. And in the milk crate is all the whip cream of your life. The whip cream signifying sin, or bad habits (like selfish perusing of internet stuff) and in the middle of the whipped cream of your life is a deflated balloon…making more room for God in your life is like airing up the balloon. Just by the nature of physics, some of the deliciously evil whipped cream will ooze out of the crate, out of your life. That’s the expulsive power of a new affection…

Let's see, I have plenty of whipped cream, I just have to find a balloon…..