DEATH!!

I have had another thought occupying my mind lately. Recently, an old friend of mine died from liver cancer. He was 58 when he died. I recall a lot of the things we talked about and argued about and laughed about. I really can’t believe he’s gone, but, he is. He now knows something that we all only imagine or speculate about….being dead. I believe the bible and what it says will happen but that’s not even what I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about wasted life. Death is inevitable…it will happen to ALL. But, do we all need to have a wasted life? I have read of men of valor living life with great cause and dying a valiant death, I have heard of men dying for their loved ones or friends or cause, I have heard of misguided men dying for the wrong reasons…but, in all those stories it seems that those men were living for something (whether right or wrong) and then died in some effort while doing that “living”. They had something to live for and died while trying to live for that.

So, it made me wonder…What am I living for? I know I will die…but, am I just lingering around until then?

My wife made an interesting point when we discussed my friend. She made a statement that went something like, “well, with cancer he probably had time to get his affairs in order and get right with God.” I would agree. Part of my angst with his death are comments that he made in his life about getting to heaven and the like. So, it would seem like cancer might have been merciful as horrid as that sounds.

But, what about those that believe? We should have our affairs in order everyday. We should know what we are living for and pursue it with vigor…unto death even.

I know that a lot of people think that believers are believers because they are afraid to die. My dad believes that. I don’t buy that for a minute…don’t get me wrong, I am not looking forward to whatever process would lead me to death…but, death itself, at this present time, causes no fear in me…The thought that is gripping me is if I am going to waste my life. Countless hours doing nothing that matters…things like: TV, surfing the internet, wondering what you are going to buy next, etc.

I think it’s time that I created a priority list…then lived it out with all I’ve got mainly because death is not the end..It’s only the end of hard part.

Truth v. Lies

I just read the introduction to our next strategic objectives meetings for my place of employment..it goes something like this: “

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but

most of them pick themselves up and hurry

off as if nothing had happened.”

Winston Churchill

Always and everywhere, Truth and Falsehood are locked in mortal combat. Until the end of time, first one and then the other will gain advantage in the battle for human souls and the fate of nations.

Ultimately, of course, Truth must prevail for Jesus has promised that we shall know the Truth, and thereby, be set free. He promised to send us a Counselor who is the Spirit of Truth and even declared that He, himself, is the Truth. So, at the end of history, the outcome is not in doubt.

In the meantime, however, the Evil One remains remarkably persuasive in deceiving our race about human nature, culture, science, politics, economics, good and evil, heaven and hell, the Truth of the Bible, the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus and much more. All of this the Father of Liars manages to do while leaving most people in doubt of his own existence!

It almost seems as if people are eager to be deceived, to actively cooperate with the very deceptions that threaten their lives and souls. “It is a melancholy truth that bad arguments often prevail over better ones, and that very bad arguments sometimes gain a virtual monopoly in the court of public sentiment. In extreme cases, a bad argument so mesmerizes the public that its status as an argument – as one, necessarily limited point of view competing with others – tends to deliquesce. It takes on an aura of inevitability… When this happens… Dissent from this new orthodoxy appears as dissent from the simple reality of the way things are: less a challenge than a perversion,” Roger Kimball explains.

“

I do find that I am severely susceptible to lies especially when they appear that they benefit me personally. Like, too much change from the grocery store lady…or buying into the lie that 5mph over the speed limit is fine. My 2^nd oldest daughter and my oldest son recently blogged about such matters and based on a verse that states, “'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'”

so how am I to be trusted with anything great if I can’t observe the simple truths and what is my master’s happiness in giving back change and obeying worldly laws??? I am refreshed with a joy after being obedient to Him that really helps me understand it more, but, what do you think that happiness is? …It’s an interesting lesson that seems to have many facets and can be applied to many different parts of your life. I would encourage you to read it again too (Matthew 25:14-30).. Good job kids!

Good sermons!!

Typically those 2 words don't go together! Lol... Just kidding. But, God really used this last one to talk to my family. He mentioned growth and learning and how some people plateau. He also talked about how hitting a plateau was bad. Furthermore he mentioned that it usually occurs around my age!!!

It was inspiring. I pray that I act on it!!

Turning it in

Are you making a difference?

So, if all the Christians of the world came together and did like Jesus, that is, serving and not condemning…would the world even “want” to persecute us? Shouldn’t we be so “Christian” that the world would say “if we isolated them and killed them all off, who would provide the charity, love the unloved, help us in time of need?” I feel like that if things should be thought all the way through, we should be an asset to have around.

On to personal things..

As I worked in the secular realm (like everyone else) and now as I work in a predominately Christian environment, I see that there were a lot of NON believers what were considerably more considerate than some of the believers that I work with…it really makes me wonder more about true belief. In particular MY beliefs. If I believe, where is the transformation? Isn’t that what should happen? I used to always quote a verse that states,

“ 9 How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
       When will you get up from your sleep?

 10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
       a little folding of the hands to rest-

 11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit
       and scarcity like an armed man.

 It repeats it again later in proverbs:

 32 I applied my heart to what I observed
       and learned a lesson from what I saw:

 33 A little sleep, a little slumber,
       a little folding of the hands to rest-

 34 and poverty will come on you like a bandit
       and scarcity like an armed man. ^[a]

And it really makes me curious…have I become lazy? Yes, I have.

The other night as my wife and I were having a discussion and the question came up, “What happened to the man that TRIED to be a better father instead of resolving to ‘this is who I am’?”

Obviously, it was insulting at first. But, wow what an accurate question. All these revelations, all this frustration, all this lack of the fruit of the Spirit…It’s got to be pointing to something. Yes, I long for my brothers to hold my feet to the fire. But, if I can only do it with accountability, is that a form of pride or idolatry? One of my children recently referenced in one of their blog posts that it’s where we turn when we have the struggles that matters.

When I was a new believer, when I would get down or upset, I would throw on some of my favorite secular music and get lost in my headphones. It was soon afterward that God convicted me to lose those CDs. That I was taking my issues to the wrong place. Now, it appears that my support group is something that God has removed from me….as I would take my troubles to them…

I am orphaned. But, there is a Father that is waiting for me to turn to Him. I have been a poor man’s version of a prodigal son. I don’t have an inheritance to blow…but, I have constantly sought my own outlets for my needs or fulfillment.

It must be time…it’s not going to get much clearer I guess. I just have to figure out how.

Lumber Yard

God has used quite a few things to reveal (again) something that my old accountability partners and I used to hold each other to. That if we had a problem with somebody, it was usually US that had the problem to resolve in ourselves.

We would approach each other for each others good. Not our own. If I had a problem with someone being a certain way that offended me...that I would need to evaluate why I had a problem with it and if it needed to be addressed, it was for the offenders true benefit. Not our own benefit in someway.

That's hard...when I had people to help me it got easier to do those things in love. However, without those precious friends to help me, I have back slidden something fierce.

God said that we should remove the Lowe's Lumber Yard out of our own eye before you take the spec out of another's. Emphasis mine. But isn't it so true that we can identify the microscopic issues that others are in but ignore the quagmire of our own problems or even be blind to them.

It's been a good day of "trouble" to remind me of this.

Anyone have a forklift?

Soccer FUN!!!

Have you heard of Coerver's 531 tournament? It's a blast we spent the entire day after Thanksgiving in it. I took Christian to play in the U13 and Joshua played in the U9. The tournament progresses like this:

When you're scheduled to play a team you meet them on the 5v5 field and play. Then, immediately when that is finished you move to the 3v3 field and play. When that's over you meet at the pit where the team faces off in 1v1. The pit is a small little walled off area with small goals. It's intense to watch. It's like watching 2 warriors fight to the death...they battle for 60 seconds, then the next 2 face off..and so on until all 6 of the team have met. So, at the beginning of the tournament you create your 1v1 lineups where none can be the same order. The total of the wins determines the team that wins...you get 3 points for each win...for a max of nine in each round.

It's nonstop action with only about 20 minutes between matches..then they do the 5v5,3v3,1v1 to the next team. They played 6 matches...needless to say, they both slept great after that.

Joshua's team was the youngest in the tournament since they were playing up to U9 and they came in 4th place...Christian's team took 3rd in their division.

It's insane fun and the kids love it.

Joshua got to play with keepers for the first time ever. He was thrilled that he scored a few goals on a keeper. Then, he got to play keeper for the 1st time ever...he said, "I don't like that! I stink!" He was smiling the whole time though. I included a picture of him in goalie garb.

New picture

How do you like the new picture?? I thought I'd play around with it.

News...

Surely, most anyone that would read this has already read from my wife that we lost our baby to a miscarriage. But, I felt that it would be appropriate that I blog about it too.

This miscarriage has been totally different than the last one. However, some things are the same:
Still sad
Wonder why
Worried for my wife
Worried for our future having more kids

The things that are different:
I am more quiet
I feel judgement
I am reflective on other things due to it
Not as devastated
Disappointed that I shared the news we were pregnant with friends and family.
Dreading the pity that comes with the news of the loss.
Realization how not-in-control we are of things but how Sovereign God is.
I feel sad for my kids but at the same time...kinda glad that they go through this and we are there for any questions or to pray with them..

I read in ecclesiastes last night how much - better it was for those never born. While it may not directly relate, I did find some comfort in knowing that we'd never have to worry about him/her in anything..but especially salvation. Right before that was especially interesting. It stated that EVERYTHING will be beautiful in it's time...even this.

I've received godly council from a couple of friends and land on this; God's ways are not our ways. Thank God for that.

Other Stuff

Mal's birthday was this past weekend. I truly love having a sweet precious little girl amongst all the rowdy obnoxious boys. Don't get me wrong...I love the boys too...But, having this little girl smack dab in the middle of them is pretty special.

I would say that Mal is the smartest just-turned-3 I have ever encountered. She's got a beautiful smile, cute dimples, and manners that match a southern bell...She's amazing>

Happy birthday Bird!!

Clarification on previous post

My wife and I discussed the wording on the previous post in regards to the music ministry. It’s a hard thing to try to type out and convey…I am going to try to clarify what it’s supposed to mean by telling you what it DOESN’T mean and what it DOES mean:

It doesn’t mean :

1.      that I have all the answers or even think I do for MM.

2.      that anything the MM team does or anyone on the team is bad or no good.

3.      that the ideas I had would even work.

It does mean:

1.      That I think the music could be considerably better

2.      That I think I can help that in some way

3.      That I think that catering to people in worship is absurd regardless of the political battles etc.

The crux of the post was to simply state that I am struggling with it all and it is a frustration for me and takes up thought processes, makes hair gray, adds wrinkles to my forehead…etc.

I hope that helps…