Kids...

I will be praying for you a lot throughout the day. I love each of you. Tell your younger siblings about it. Ok?

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time doesn't stand still

Today is JDs 7th birthday...He is the only baby that we've had that could put his arms over his head and touch his elbows right out of the womb. Typically, I am not sure there is scientific consistency in this but, when a baby puts its arms up...it's fists align with the top of the head or very close to that. Not Jess...he had long arms and legs and looked like he just got done with a boxing match. The bridge of his nose was hung on the pubic bone and delayed things a bit...he came out facing the wrong direction and freaked the doctor out. It was as exciting a birth as I want to have. However, he was healthy, strong and sweet...and thank the Lord, he still is.

 

I simply can't believe that was 7 years ago today.

 

Time can get away from us in every facet of life. It seems that I have experienced being so excited about what will happen when such and such reaches such and such an age...that all the time that led to that was a blur and seemingly not important...what a tremendous oversight on my part. Every moment is and should be treated as precious and something that, once spent, is gone forever. I don't know about you but my memory is not trustworthy enough to rely on those spread out special moments...trying to make every moment special should help me have plenty to draw from as the years go by. And, Lord willing, my wife and children will have those fond memories too. Leaving a legacy isn't doing one single thing that was remembered...but a way that you lived your life...every day, every moment.

 

There are many songs that touch on this topic...I have referenced one in the past by Matthew West called "The Motions" but, a couple of others:

Group: Decyfer Down

 

Like shooting stars
How brief we are
I wish this moment could last forever
Here with you
I am made new
I want to live like every breath matters
You're not so far away
Just hear me when I say
I wanna love what you love
I want to see what you see
I want a heart that burns like a fire in me
I want your light in my life
I want my heart renewed
Here I am
Forever with you
The falling rain
Can bring a change
I never knew how far that I could fall
I can hardly wait
'Til I see you face to face
I can't believe your love remains the same
You're not so far away
Just hear me when I say
I wanna love what you love
I want to see what you see
I want a heart that burns like a fire in me
I want your light in my life
I want my heart renewed
Here I am
Forever with you
Now that I am here with you
After all that I've been through
I just can't live without
The grace you gave to me
Now I see what you see
Your beautiful life forever in me
I wanna love what you love
I want to see what you see
I want a heart that burns like a fire in me
I want your light in my life
I want my heart renewed
Here I am
Here I am
Here I am
Forever with you

 

 

Group: NeedtoBreathe

 

Why don't we smile anymore

I'm not okay with that

Why don't we dance slowly

I'm not okay with that

'Cause the years go by like stones under rushing water

We only know, we only know when it's gone

 

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What would you think?

I was getting dressed for work this morning and my wife was sitting up in bed reading her Bible. I was thinking to myself, "should I ask her to read it out loud?" For whatever reason, I didn't...2 minutes later she says, "listen to this, isn't it sad." Then proceeded to read from scripture...2 Chronicles 25 1-2 "Amaziah was 25 years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem 29 years. His mother's name was Jehoaddin; she was from Jerusalem. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but not wholeheartedly."

 

What would this mean to you?

 

There's a funny thing that people say that I used to agree with. It goes something like "the Bible can mean whatever you want it to mean. You can find something in there that will help you prove your point." As my relationship with the Lord has grown and shrunk...as I have forged ahead and back slid...one thing has remained steadfast. HIS love for me. Not the other way around. As I think about the saying that I mentioned, if you read things out of context or without the Love of the Almighty, His Holy Spirit...they are just words. Words can be manipulated any way you want them to be, especially without understanding. But, add God...add His desire to communicate to the ones He loves. Then, the words mean something. They become personal. They become words from His mouth directly to me that apply to my circumstances. As I type this I am becoming overwhelmed with the thought/realization of this all over again. Even as I type, the shuffle of my songs playing through my headphones remind me: "This is my daily bread, Your very word spoken to me. And I'm desperate for You. And I'm lost without You." "This is the air I breathe, Your Holy presence living in me."

 

NO, IT'S NOT COINCEDENCE...It's the love of the Father, my Jesus, the Holy Spirit burning inside me for fellowship and I love it.  I need it more than anything else. It's all I need...but, I forget sometimes. And my gracious Father reminds me...through a prompting in my head and the voice of my precious sweet wife..."do it wholeheartedly".

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read a great devotional this morning

Well, I guess I should say timely...not great. This weekend was full of blunders. Starting with frustration with our soccer organization. Everyone except me is a big stinking goofball!! Wow...those are actually my thoughts. I struggle with how things are done every single game. Sunday was a repeat except we were at church. I can easily identify so many flaws in others. I even made a joke in the car how I wish I could get paid to do that, I'd be rich!!

 

But, isn't that true for anyone? It's easy to find the flaws of others. It's easy to not trust, it's easy to see fault.  I had spent a whole weekend seething about what had been happening. More self inflicted time wasting.

 

This is the content of the  page dated today's date...I had already had this on my mind. You may say it's coincidence...but, I serve a mighty God that loves me. He speaks to me all the time. It's not coincidence. It's a Father in heaven wanting to tell His grafted in kid about a flaw that needs correction. That's what Someone that loves you does...

 

All Things Are Pure

To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled. (Titus 1:15)

Your heart’s condition will be expressed through your life. It will be evident by your attitudes, your words, and your behavior. Jesus said that you can clearly see others only when your own eyes are unobstructed (Luke 6:42). If your vision is hindered by sin, you will not look at others properly.

If your heart is pure, you will approach life without malice. You will not question the motives of everyone around you; you will not doubt the truth of everything others tell you; you will not look for fault in others. Instead, you will look for the good in others, finding what is praiseworthy. You will not be naive or gullible, but you will seek what is good rather than what is evil. If your heart is pure, you will see others the way God sees them (Matt. 6:22).

If your heart is defiled, everything with which you are involved will seem corrupt as well. You will assume evil motives in others because you know what you would do given the same circumstances. You will be cynical about what you hear because your own words are deceitful. You will be drawn to evil people and evil things. How do you look at the words and actions of others? Are you critical of them? Are you judgmental? If so, ask God to purify your heart. Once He has, you will be free to see yourself and others as God does.

 

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A reality that set in

I have a daughter that will be 18 in 4 months. I remember holding her in my arms trying to sing her to sleep past her colicky crying. I remember the miconium poopy diapers. I remember her dancing in time with a disney VHS tape that we had. I remember showing her off to my friends...

 

Time is no friend of mine. It continues on...it's relentless. Moments that I miss will never avail themselves again but neither will moments that I didn't miss.  Now, she's almost 18. Wow.

 

I must say that I remember very clearly being that age. I recall my thoughts, actions, and worst of all, my ways. I thank our Lord above that she is so much more mature. So, wonderfully sweet...so opposite of me at that age. I am so proud of her and the woman that she's become.

 

Thank you Jesus.

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She's a gettin' all growed up.

My precious 3rd daughter is having a birthday! I can't believe it. It seems like she was just born and now she's 12... what a sweet and precious girl she is.

Love you LB!

Fun time!

When I left my last job my coworkers were generous and thoughtful. They gifted me with a gift card to musiciansfriend online. Nice!! I guess spending a couple of years with some folks revealed some of my hobbies and passions. Now, the question as to what to do with said gift!!! That's the fun part.

 

In the past couple of years I have acquired a few different instruments. In 2008, I purchased electronic drums, in early 2009 an electric guitar and effects. Both of those need amplification to be heard...so, with this gift card I was able to severely discount a small PA system. It's a 100w system so it's really small, but, perfect for what I'd need. It even came with a microphone!

 

It arrived yesterday. When I got home I felt like it was Christmas! My oldest boy and I started cutting into boxes and connecting wires...next thing you know we are pumping out the jams! ;-) My oldest daughter on the drums, my next oldest on the keys, several on the mic singing. I didn't realize how much fun it would be!

 

Oh, my attitude would try to ruin it by barking out commands of various sorts, but, the prayers of my wife were answered (as she was praying that nobody would be sent away in tears due to my "ways") and we just ended with smiles on our faces.

 

I found that several of my kids have a desire to learn instruments and sing. My oldest boy mentioned that he wants to learn the bass guitar! Wow, I never knew that.

 

Not sure how long everyone's interest will last, but, I will try to enjoy it while I can.

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Is it all just wasted time?

Being of a worldly upbringing, I say something like the title to this blog and think of a song I used to know in my teens and early 20's. (It's amazing how words of a song will stick with you for so long.) The group that sings that song is definitely not worth mentioning, nor the lyrics really, save one;

 

Creations colors seem to fade to grey
And you'll see the sickly hands of time
Will write your final rhyme
And end a memory

 

This weekend I watched the movie "Up"... From what I recall of it, it was a sweet little movie. The first 10 minutes of that movie should be played for every living person. It's a great synopsis of events of life...right to the end. Fun, tragedy, challenges, victories, defeats...it really made me stop and think of what I am doing every day to make sure I am living life like I should be. Note to self: I need work in this area.

 

So, this morning I was going over this weekends activities in my head feeling like I destroyed something. It was a good weekend...right up until my oldest sons soccer game. My frustrations with the coach, with expectations of my sons play with the quality of the rest of the team were too much for me to handle apparently. According to my wife, several of my remarks were bad mouthing the coach. Talking about him behind his back as it were. I can't believe I didn't even notice it. It just flowed right out so easily.

 

What causes such frustration? How do I get to that point? I think I am a little over extended right now. My wife brought up many good points that I should take to heart as we talked on the way home.

1. I sorta blew my witness. Not that I was ranting and raving like a lunatic. But, speaking poorly of someone speaks volumes about ones heart.

2. When will I spend time with the rest of my family if I am on the soccer field 4 days of the week? Some are 5 days a week. I have talked about taking the girls fishing, going camping, playing airsoft. It's all around a soccer schedule.  I love the game. I love how excellent my boys are in it....maybe that's why it's hard to let go of it.

 

Seems like a simple solution...get rid of soccer and I get rid of a couple of the things that causes me grief and eats up my days. My thought is that something will come along that will replace it. But, we'll see. I will complete my commitments for this season and drop off the face of the soccer earth from then on.

 

Wish me luck!

 

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Confessions of fear

There are times in my life when I look at what I have been given. Usually, when I do, I start to become afraid. I would guess that it's kind of common...I am not sure. But, this morning I was re-reading a sweet email from my precious wife. Nothing spectacular.. just an email from her letting me into her day. Including me in on her schedule and the pleasant and sweet things that are happening to her at that time...Usually cute stuff about the kids or our dogs or something funny she saw happen. She wants to share that sweetness, funny stuff, hard times, frustrations, etc. with me. Nice...very nice.

 

I have to admit that soon after I realize the awesomeness of such gifts, I get very tight fisted. Like a kid that just got some special treat...I am thrilled and a little scared that it might get taken away or I might lose it. If it was like candy, it get's shoved in my mouth as quickly as possible to keep the loss from occurring. My mouth stuffed full, chewing and swallowing...out of pure selfishness. If I shove it all in my mouth, I won't have to share or give it back..etc. Ya know what I mean?  I think that's where the revelation sets in. That's where, if you are fortunate enough to have a relationship with the Lord, you learn how to really enjoy it and understand what it is that tries to make you afraid. I don't think I have ever enjoyed anything when the fear of losing it overpowered me. I become a slave to the fear of loss...instead of enjoying what I have been given. And understanding that everything I have has really been given as a gift and not earned on my own. That's the difference, I think anyway.

 

I am feeling overwhelmingly blessed...I don't want it to stop so I am trying to shove it all in my mouth. So, as I type all this I sit here and pray that God will help me rest in the message...to overpower my fear with the freedom and joy of the Lord...to hold everything with an open hand and enjoy it while I can.

 

I am feeling better about things already. Thank you Lord.

 

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How do I inspire?

It seems I am a professional at manipulation, but, how do you inspire someone to WANT to do and be great? I doubt that every great person has a role model the exact same way..I mean, I don't intend to NOT be an example but, I can NOT be an awesome soccer player since I am past that ability in my life. Was Albert Einstein's dad also good at math and such? Al Sr.? Oh, all the books written about all the cool formulas he founded and then simply taught Al junior?

 

There is the real question....on things I can't do, how do I inspire one to want to be more than they are at anything without a real role model? Not giving them the ability to just do the thing....but, to want it with all their heart? To burn on the inside for it? How do you make it for EVERYTHING THEY DO? See, I have a dream that my children will want to be excellent at everything they put their hands to. To not settle for mediocrity or average.

 

Hum? It's a brain scratcher for me. I see so many things that need improvement and that are wasteful. I don't want to be a slave driver or shove something down their throats...scratch, scratch , scratch.

 

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