I find myself looking backward a lot. For example, when I see a picture of my family from when we lived in Colorado, I think of how I really liked that place. It makes me long to go back. I really have to purposefully recall reasons why we left. Then, I usually move on just remembering about some of the good times we had or benefits of that place.
When you're thinking of how great something was and constantly looking back it's hard to see what you're walking toward. It's part of the reason we left Colorado. We kept looking back and longing for what was or what we had back here.
The moral of the story is that if you have divided interests, it's impossible to give 100%.
We are considering churches right now. The issue that's becoming painfully obvious in dividing interests between churches is this very matter. We look over our shoulder at each church thinking, if this one had that or that one had this.
Just like being lulled, I think this needs careful examination and a tough decision. I am having a hard time reconciling the spilt interest...
I had a great conversation with one of my good friends about this topic last night. He has struggled with this issue as well and has resolved a few things in his mind and he shared them with me and asked questions and quoted scripture.
One important resolution was a question: what did Zaccheus do after he made all things right? What about all the people that saw Him after He raised from the dead. Scripture said there were 500 that saw Him. Furthermore, he mentioned how Paul was a full time missionary...and had the support from Christians in many of the cities that he visited. The point is that there were people that are the supporters. Those that do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with their God. These folks love the lord and glorify them in their day to day activities and aren't necessarily mission folks or pastors or anyone that had a great calling...
I have been listening to a book called "Radical" by David Platt. It's exposed quite a bit about this lulled topic. I have also corresponded with one of my very good friends who has also had excellent information. Let me try to sum them both up.
Radical makes great statements about how we aren't going all out for Jesus. More like, making Him "work" around our lives. Furthermore, it really highlights those that have committed to him and the results in their lives. It's very convicting. Many could consider this book as a saved by works kind of book. That we need to DO things to make God happy. But, I disagree. To me this book assumes you already understand some basic "Christianese". I think this book falls in the category - "Saved by grace alone, by Christ alone...now what" category. Just like Crazy Love is. I don't think it's fair to assume that these books are for those that are seeking how to start a relationship with Jesus...but, how to continue and abide in Him according to scripture and the Holy word.
I think this is a confusing issue to some (like my good friend for instance). And, I am not saying that I have it all figured out or understand the authors motives, etc. I am just listening to it from where I am now. Not as a seeker of salvation - but, one that wants to fully understand what a relationship means beyond salvation. If that makes any sense at all. In addition, I am trying to weigh it all against scripture and (or attempting to) discern truth.
Currently, I think the song by Matthew West sums up where I am in a very basic regard. The song is called "My Own Little World".
My Own Little World
In my own little world it hardly ever rains
I’ve never gone hungry, always felt safe
I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet
In my own little world
Population me
I try to stay awake during Sunday morning church
I throw a twenty in the plate, but I never give ’til it hurts
I turn off the news when I don’t like what I see
Yeah,it’s easy to do when it’s
Population: me
What if there’s a bigger picture?
What if I’m missing out?
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
Outside my own little world oooh
Stopped at a red light, looked out my window
I saw a cardboard sign, said “Help this homeless widow”
Above that sign was the face of a human
I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”
So I rolled down the window and I looked her in the eye
Oh how many times have I just passed her by?
So I gave her some money then I drove on through
And my own little world reached
Population two
What if there’s a bigger picture?
What if I’m missing out?
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
Outside my own little world yeah, yeah
My own little world oooh
Father break my heart for what breaks Yours
Give me open hands and open doors
Put Your Light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me
What if there’s a bigger picture?
What if I’m missing out?
What if there’s a greater purpose
That I could be living right now
I dont want to miss what matters
I wanna be reaching out
Show me the greater purpose
So i can start livin right now
Outside my own little world oooh
Outside My own little world yeah yeah
Outside My own little world oooh
Have we been lulled to sleep by the American "dream"? House, car, kids, dog, debt and God on his designated day...for our comfort and convenience?
Should we really have Christian books on managing debt? Should a Christian be in debt or, a step further...should a Christian seek the things of the world? I am confused on so many issues with this. Some modern authors talk about how we have created our way of Christian life and molded God around it. Then some would speak if how we God isn't against us having the "stuff" but our love for it.
I am listening to more books and reading more on this subject in scripture and plan on posting my findings.
I think I understand things...a lot if times I learn something new that can either reinforce what I know or open my eyes to my error. How I respond to learning of my errors probably says a lot about me.
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They don't view God as near because I don't. Therefore, some of our family struggles are founded by the value of the consequence of individuals actions. When they might be able to get away with things because the "authorities" aren't present. They lack the view if whom the authority is...
I was giving thought to why certain important people in my life would prefer to not listen to my advice. When I coach soccer, most if not all are paying attention to my words. There's an understanding that I have experience or understanding in an area that they may not. Most of the kids I recently dealt with are far more skilled with the ball than I am but, they seem to trust me that I can see something that they can't. And my words are for their profit...not mine. Even at work, there's some of the same.
However, when I get home there's a certain someone that says they value me more than anything on this planet. Yet, my words are very ineffective.
I suppose it might be the manner in which it's delivered..But, it feels like lack of trust.
My friend Brandon and I are planning on teaching a class. Not sure if it will be at our church, there are probably too many other ministry/teaching things going on for it to be effective. I am going to ask a friend of mine who is a pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church to see if we might be able to do it there..but, there might not be the interest at that church either. In any case, it might just be Brandon and I...but, we want to do it for our benefit (as well as others) anyway.
The idea is teaching what the Bible says about parenting. We purposely decided to stay away from a book that is full of interpretation and psychobabble and thought we should leave hearing and understanding to each of the fathers. If the Word is alive and speaks, as it does, then it's not my expertise or Brandon's that is important, but, what God says about these topics. That should leave each individual father with issues to deal with directly from the Lord and not worldly books (even by godly men)or teachers.
The topics as I see it currently: Children - Defined in scripture - Examples of children - Responsibilities
Wisdom - Defined in scripture - Examples of wisdom - How it's acquired - What to do with it
Discipleship
Fathers - Defined in scripture - Examples of fathers - Responsibilities of a father
I figure this might be a 4 - 1 hour class/discussions. The class will probably go like this: Open up by discussing the topic Discuss the topics Share issues
Simple huh?
Goals: The goal of this class is to: -Better equip Godly fathers with biblical information on the responsibilites of their task and understanding how God would have us raise and treat our children. -Develop deeper relationships with other fathers -To further relationships with OUR Father by researching His word and listening as His word comes alive for us.
I am wondering what the point of prayer is. So many times I have prayed about things only to watch the natural scheme of things play out. Or, been desperate and still refused. Or, earnest and denied. However you want to say it, Gods will and way is so far beyond me, what's the point in doing it at all?
Scripture says that we should pray without ceasing, that by prayer and petition present out requests to God, and he will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Jesus said that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, jump into the sea and it will be done....
My faith must be smaller than a mustard seed. Nothing is moving...in fact, the more I find myself asking, the more I realize that my prayers must be hitting the ceiling so to speak. The more critical a matter is to me, the less I hear or see results, answers or changes.
Don't get me wrong, this is not a question of faith but of relevance. MY relevance in the scheme of God's grand design and plan. Since I am human I often resort to human type thoughts and I am sure that's a downfall especially when compared to scripture. But, I liken it to a scenario at work. If I am running a project and have a goal of what I want to see happen at the end and this blathering fool of a person is constantly making recommendations on what I should change, or how, if I would change this one part they'd be so thankful..or they desperately need to have such and such on their systems. Much of that would be shrugged off and I would think very little of it since my goal is defined and I am working toward its completion. Now, if it happened that one of their request happened to line up with my goal…well, wouldn't they be a happy camper! They probably would think it would be their request that caused it as well. But, in reality…they just annoyed me and wasted my time.
So, that irrelevant, blathering fool…well, that's me. The guy in charge? We know Him – I don't want to annoy, right?
The issue I am having is if "the fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much", how do I become righteous? Are there any that are righteous? Paul says no…"There is none righteous, no not one." Is it futility? I don't believe that…
Until I have some revelation I am just resigned to hang in there and watch. Let God's will unfold before my eyes and just know that He's in control. I think it may be a little more quiet on this end until I understand a bit more of being righteous though. For even a fool that's quiet is thought to be wise.
If angst and worry equates to lack of faith…it's no wonder He doesn't intercede on my behalf.
For years I felt like my family and I were oddballs....grinding our own wheat, steering clear of too many refined sugars, avoiding scavengers like the plague. Even during that time I could see so many benefits in our health in regards to obesity and sickness in general. Even friends thought it strange and would attempt to trip us up with various scripture...but, we stayed firmly planted. I thought we were wacko zealots.
Not even close.
Due to an illness to my precious wife we have truly discovered what it means to eat healthy. We have also been exposed to the extreme difficulty to even acquire healthy food. In addition the revelation of my incorrect assumption that the label "vegetarian" or "vegan" doesn't necessarily equate to healthy. White flour and sugar are "on the ok list" for them - both of which we want to avoid. That eliminates quite a few cookbook choices from the menu...
It's been a struggle to make the adjustment. And, honestly, I have been frustrated by it quite a few times. But, I have also realized quite a few benefits from it. The primary benefit is the pounds that have fallen away. I haven't changed anything else besides WHAT I eat. Quantities are still large..no more exercise than normal. 20 pounds gone. That is speaking volumes to me. It's opening my eyes more...
It's funny how we think we suffer something or are doing something in an effort to improve - but, when we make a drastic lifestyle change, are able to look back and see how deficient we were...and thinking we were really something. Just like now, there will probably be a time when I look at this and think of how minimal my attempts actually were...
