An example

We have been visiting, well I haven't, but my family has, a dying man. He is in hospice and has pancreatic cancer. As they discussed treatments, he decided to reject them. He's a beacon of strength and faith. His wife passed away not too long ago and shortly after he decided that he'd had enough of his medications...and stopped taking them. The doctor told him that he was a big boy and could do what he wanted to...I don't want him to go. But, my guess is he's tired, knows his destination and misses his wife.

He's the perfect person for the role he plays at our church - he's the greeter. He has a smile on his face and candy in his pocket. You don't really notice that he's got a hearing aid until you get to know him and talk with him but get no response. He's not unfriendly...he just can't hear you! You learn to live with that and speak to his face. He's full of wisdom and know how. His garden produces and abundant crop which he gladly shares. We get invited over quite a bit when it's harvest time - and we love it. Frankly, we love him. 

It's a funny thing because I'm only a friend to him because of my kids and wife. For some reason, he was drawn to my kids and my kids to him...we'd see him at church and he'd shake my hand, pass out candy to the kiddos and talk about gardening. See he knows we are interested in that and as I mentioned, he's a pro. Not only at gardening...but, talking about stuff that we're working on. He's perfect for that job...see? 

As I think about him I can hardly keep from tearing up. What's more weird is that I've only spent about 4 hours with him total...my family a little more...but, not as much as we should have. He's been to my house looking at my garden, letting us borrow his tiller and introducing my family to his brother - I was at work and missed out. So, why is it that this is affecting me so much? 

My guess is that he's the real life rendition of the person I want around my kids. He's gentle when he speaks, but very confident. He smiles....a lot. He is very giving. He's patient (at least around us). He's full of wisdom. He knows the Lord. He doesn't love this life more than he should.

Look for that kind of man to be an example to you...I hope that's me someday.

Bona fide hate

I just realized that I almost spent my entire drive to work seething. If I had a super power and it was laser beam eyes...I would have used them. It absolutely IRKS me that 2 cars in different lanes can be driving the EXACT same speed limit. And, you know, it doesn't matter how fast they are going...The issue that eats at me is their obliviousness to others. In my righteous anger (an impossibility for me - I'm sure I've had a post about that at some point) I would split their cars down the middle with my laser beam eyes - and, in my mind, as they were sitting on the side of the road - due to the fact that they wouldn't have understood anything that happened because of their complete disregard for their surroundings - would sit bumfuzzled at their status. They would have not had a clue that it was me, because basically, nobody else exists but them, right? They would be wondering, "Why am I not moving? Has something changed?"

- Yeah, I was that fuming mad. 

Notice - I said almost...I almost spent my entire drive to work seething...You know, I've noticed that people get angry the most at what they are blinded to that occurs in their own lives. Shortcomings of their own displayed in other folks. I quickly looked around to make sure I wasn't blocking traffic. Then, I started thinking that maybe it's not only holding people up in traffic where I am being oblivious to others. I think the Holy Spirit was thinking, "Finally...he's heard something I said." Things started pouring in... a. lot. of. things. 

I hate that the theory still holds true about being blinded and having the same flaws that you are disgusted by the most. Cuz I have been feeling a lot of disgust and frustration lately. I think God may be doing an overhaul on me.

What makes you mad/disgusted/hateful?

Who's the man????!??!

I found that there are a lot of folks with advice to give. And, the best part is, they all think they are right. Oh, I know, this includes me too. But, it sure does get old hearing everyone tout opinions. Even at the office there is so much talk about conspiracies and government plotting...and of course, everything you read and everyone that tells you has the answer. The TRUTH. Even pastors get in on it with their "3 things you should .." and "5 ways to ...." stuff. Everyone knows the truth and are glad to tell you their rendition.

Why do we seek the truth? Why is it that when we think we know a truth we have to tell everyone else? I'm sure there's a lot of psycho babble in the why's and wherefore's...but, Jesus said this: "I am the way, the truth and the life." He said HE'S the truth. Perhaps that's one of the innate things that draws us to Him. One of the things that make us without excuse. It's just so refreshing to think about him and all that he said and did was truth. There was no deceit in him. That sounds like paradise in itself to me.

I don't know if the government is smart enough to coordinate and cruel enough to sacrifice folks for their agendas, but I do know that Jesus rose from the dead, just like he said he would. That, through out scripture, he stated truth after truth...and never was any deceit uttered from his lips. In John 8 -

³¹ So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, ³² and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” ³³ They answered him, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?”

³⁴ Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave^[b] to sin. ³⁵ The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. ³⁶ So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. ³⁷ I know that you are offspring of Abraham; yet you seek to kill me because my word finds no place in you. ³⁸ I speak of what I have seen with my Father, and you do what you have heard from your father.”

³⁹ They answered him, “Abraham is our father.” Jesus said to them, “If you were Abraham's children, you would be doing the works Abraham did, ⁴⁰ but now you seek to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. This is not what Abraham did. ⁴¹ You are doing the works your father did.” They said to him, “We were not born of sexual immorality. We have one Father—even God.” ⁴² Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here. I came not of my own accord, but he sent me. ⁴³ Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word. ⁴⁴ You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. ⁴⁵ But because I tell the truth, you do not believe me. ⁴⁶ Which one of you convicts me of sin? If I tell the truth, why do you not believe me?⁴⁷ Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God.”

The Jews had the words they wanted in them. They had set who they were on their hearts and were unchangeable. In the same ways, if you debate a point with one of the pastor's 12 step plans, you'll find them defending it to death. As if God's finger wrote the plan himself. But, it's from pride that we don't hear the truth of others and stay convinced in our hearts of our own status and plans. None of us likes truth outside what OUR truth is. The kicker is that isn't not subjective. There is only one truth...but, we like to make exceptions and bring others along in our deception. Does that reveal something about us? Read John 8:47 again. Yikes.

in·volved

  [in-volvd]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

very intricate or complex: an involved reply.

2.

implicated: involved in crime.

3.

concerned in some affair, especially in a way likely to cause danger or unpleasantness: I didn't call the police because I didn't want to get involved.

4.

committed or engaged, as in a political cause or artistic movement: The civil rights demonstration attracted the involved young people of the area.

en·gaged

 [en-geyjd]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

busy or occupied; involved: deeply engaged in conversation.

2.

pledged to be married; betrothed: an engaged couple.

3.

under engagement; pledged: an engaged contractor.

4.

entered into conflict with: desperately engaged armies.

5.

Mechanics .

a.

interlocked.

b.

(of wheels) in gear with each other.

Thanks to Dictionary.com for those definitions. 

They seem to be very similar words. But, let's see if we can shed a little light on what I am babbling about here. 

When a woman and a man start seeing each other, they could be said to be involved in a relationship. When they commit to each other and state that the wedding day is imminent they become engaged. See the difference?

Yeah, it's symantics because looking at #4 under involved and #1 under engaged above, you could say these mean the same things. But, in practical terms I am going to be speaking more about #3 in involved and #3 under engaged. 

I am currently involved in the following things/roles:

• Follower of Christ
• Husband
• Dad
• Computer dude
• Youth minister
• TaeKwondo student
• Soccer player
• home owner
• guitar player
• worship leading
• dog trainer
• gardener
• business planner
• facebook friend
• real friend
• motorcycle owner
• drummer
• blogger

That's just a quick list...everyone has a similar one. Some people with more things, some with less..but, the ideas are the same. We are involved people. There's a lot on the plate. But, there's one more that everyone has that seldom makes the list that brings most of the other things into perspective. One, that if added and seriously considered, changes the priority of things immensely. 

• dying

Yep. It's on all our lists and everyone knows it. And when added to my list I immediately re-order some of the items and might even cross out a few. But, I don't add it to the list because it's kind of like losing my hair. It's happening, I'm just not going to point it out all the time. Right?

The more I think about it the more I think that's wrong. And the word "Engaged" is why. See, I am a dabbler. When nothing is a priority, everything is satisfactory at a mediocre level. Let me explain that...When I have a honey-do list of things like, change light bulbs, tighten screws, oil squeaks and the like, nothing is pressing. Everything is ok the way it is, we'd just prefer that the door didn't squeak. But, the door still works...so, I can essentially not be real aggressive in completing the stuff. However, when the dishwasher breaks or the water heater is leaking...things are serious. I become intimately under engagement to see that no more damage occurs, etc. It is a pressing matter because of the serious-ness.

Am I talking about taking life too serously? Shouldn't we have fun? Is there anything wrong with having fun? Of course there's nothing wrong with fun. But, "Discipline yourself to do the things you need to do when you need to do them, and the day will come when you will be able to do the things you want to do when you want to do them!"~Zig Ziglar

Zig Ziglar (one of those motivational speaker type guys) said this in his special southern type accent  and it burned into my cranium forever. The point is that there are and should be priorities. Finding out what our priorities are requires the adding of ALL the items that are on our "involved" list (including dying) - then sorting out what's important and what's not (and maybe crossing some off)- then engaging in the items that remained on the list. 

I've been reading in Colossians lately and ran across this: Col 3:²³ Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, ²⁴ knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 

You can probably guess which word speaks to me loudest in those scripture passages: Heartily...not flippantly or some word that means just "good"...but Heartily. Full on board, I think you get the picture. So, we are to do our lists with passion...from the heart. Can I do all those things with that kind of adverb? Heartily?

I guess the short of it is I realize that I have too much on my list. Maybe if we're all honest, we all have too much on our lists, right? But, to prioritize and cut things out means that I don't get to do those things right now and that may seem like I am denying myself something good or valuable. However...My wife used to talk a lot about seasons of life. You know, when our kids were little in diapers, she'd say that she's enjoying that time because it won't last forever and the next thing you know they'll be moving out of the house and getting married....Yeah, she was right. I didn't "enjoy" that as much as she did and I regret it. Not necessarily the diapers, but that age of total dependence and sweet coos and drool. I didn't totally miss it, I was involved....but, she was engaged. 

When we don't pick the things that are truly important and sacrifice them for the things that are trivial (to a degree or maybe even it's the wrong season for it) then you really miss out on both things. You don't live the fullest life doing either thing heartily, but have parts of a lot of different things that you did in passing.

Some people may argue that doing a little of a lot of things is the spice of life or is in some way better. Uh, that's kinda what I did for a long time...and it left me with being excellent at nothing. Pursuing nothing. Accomplishing nothing. Having dabbled in life by being involved in a bunch of things instead of engaging in what was important for that season. 

Seasons change - a lot....and it's over before you know it. (See that last item on the list). 

discouraging

With all the hullabaloo about Hobby Lobby and previous to that, Chik-Fil-A...there was a refreshing sense of standing through persecution that I admired. However, then people make it stupid. I mean even the supporters trying posting on facebook and trying to create a HL day to support them. It's honorable, but where's the meekness in that? Do we leave room for God when we try to rally the troops on our own? This is the discouraging part...it seems like we are so repulsive. I don't know what to think about it. I am all for the stand, but, when I look at how Mary (Jesus' mother) stood for what Jesus stood for, there wasn't parading going on...or boasting, or even patting on the back. I am at a loss on how we, as Christians should behave. I think of verses like
     Hebrews 12:14 - "Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord."
     Romans 12:18 - "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

I can't understand how we would put on a demonstration - I mean, I understand how I wish to support them, but is bandwagonning the best way?

I am confused....

I think I am missing something

As a Christian I believe in following Christ with my whole life - heart, soul and mind. Does it mean that I never fail at that? No...But, I have been struggling with something that might reveal more about me than just my beliefs. I am disgusted by Christians hollering out that they are Christian. If I may explain...The tragedy of the Conn elementary school has everyone clamoring about this and that, some touting gun control, Gov. Huckabee statement about how times have changed and how we've estranged God in our schools, President Obama stating his agenda driven tout toward "change" during a special speech that I thought was supposed to be for the families of the victims and the area in general. I was appalled at how he used that as a platform to garner momentum for a "change" that he plans on pushing through. However, it was a moving touch to speak the names of all the children that lost their lives at the hand of a mad man. Even his telling of the story of the boy that knew karate and the heroic efforts of teachers was moving. If he would have only left it at that, he'd have gained a point or 2 in my book...but, he didn't. Not that it matters in the least what I think of his efforts.

I saw a facebook post where Gov. Huckabee released a statement or was interviewed and stated some pretty faith based suggestions. It was admirable to see him state those things knowing the ridicule that he'd endure because of it. Reading the responses is really what put me in the quandary I am in now. No, it wasn't all the people calling Gov. Huckabee a wacko or having an antiquated view of the world...it was all the people agreeing with him. The comments were, "Couldn't have said it better...", "I have been saying that all along.", "I totally agree with you!", "amen", "I stand with you!". Something about all those types of comments really started to eat at me. Where's the humility, where's the Christ first attitude. Where is "consider others interest above your own"? I feel like we, as Christians, owe more than lip service to the lost. I am probably missing something here. But, even pastors that I really respect from large churches in the area post some really opinionated...fire starters. For example, "I'm against other countries having nuclear weapons and my neighbors having semi-automatic weapons." While, fine in itself I suppose, as a pastor, why enter the realm of such a worldly topic? This guys knows his stuff, but it seems like we forget whose we are and focus our feelings on ourselves too often. I know I am super guilty of that. But, I don't see where that's encouraged scripturally....

Oh well, it's a sad, sad thing...it's a Genesis 3 world for sure.

Very busy

Well, I’ve been very busy lately. The job I work to put food on the table and such hasn’t been the culprit this time it’s been the part time job that consumes all my time. It’s a bit overwhelming…and to top it off, I don’t feel I put in the time for studies that I need  in order to ensure a quality lesson. So, there’s the weight of that as well. And for the icing on the cake, I don’t get the time with my own littles and when I do get the time I usually am so tired of the silliness and being “nice” that I am short with them. I am sure it makes for a pleasant experience for everyone. I definitely need to learn a balance with this. My thoughts plain and simple are: 1. My biological kids are missing out 2. The kids I am ministering to are needing more than I have to offer.

It must be an interesting dynamic for my family. I have always been the kind of dad that has very high expectations for his kids in everything. For them to participate in the ministry and see me be so “lenient” must be weird. I hope they realize that I am lenient in this way so I won’t treat the kids we minister to like the world treats them…always saying no, shut up, get out, etc. I want them to know that they are loved, wanted, important – yet they are so untrained and are inconsiderate, inappropriate and indecent for the most part. And similarly I am untrained in ministry…so, it’s an “interesting” combination. But, to have my kids see this…I wonder what they think . But, I don’t have time to ask them anyway… Poor, pitiful me, right? Yeah, I know.

It must be time to thin things out a bit, but, I don’t really know where to start. Well, that’s not entirely true, it’s just a place that I cling too tightly to and don’t want to give up. The things that consume my time when I am not working are entertainment type things – watching NFL, soccer, instructional guitar videos, golf lesson videos, looking on amazon for things to buy, searching craigslist for a riding mower and tiller, watching funny pranks on youtube. (Speaking of which look for the Brazilian elevator pranks…funny stuff). See how important that stuff is? Why should I have to give that stuff up? Well, the answer is obvious I guess..I just have to swallow the truth. The “why” is in paragraph one…the “why not” is my selfishness wanting the things I want.

I think one of the most amazing things about being a believer in Jesus is that fact that when we think we are losing something or sacrificing for His sake, we typically find out it’s for our own benefit. Kind of like the whole Sabbath for man thing. There are many things in life that are beneficial to me but I cling to the things that I believe I like because I am too ignorant to know any differently. Isn’t this one of the ways that God is audible?

Yesterday I learned of Thomas Chalmers paper on “The expulsive power of a new affection”. It’s where we make more room for the Love of God or the presense of God or the knowledge of God in our lives…and by it’s expansiveness, removes, by its nature, stuff that won’t fit anymore. It, in essence, squeezes it out. I used an illustration in church, a poor one but it was the only one I could think of…where you have a milk crate and that milk crate represents your life. And in the milk crate is all the whip cream of your life. The whip cream signifying sin, or bad habits (like selfish perusing of internet stuff) and in the middle of the whipped cream of your life is a deflated balloon…making more room for God in your life is like airing up the balloon. Just by the nature of physics, some of the deliciously evil whipped cream will ooze out of the crate, out of your life. That’s the expulsive power of a new affection…

Let's see, I have plenty of whipped cream, I just have to find a balloon…..

Theory on people

As I get older, I have tried to watch and listen to people more and try to be seen and heard less. It’s hard for me. I have a big mouth and love to hear myself speak. However, just through the short time that I have been attempting this I have developed a couple of theories on people –

1. Everyone thinks they know what’s best for everyone in almost every situation. Whether it’s politics, work, or a problem at home. Ask anyone, they’ll know what to do or what’s best. It’s the rare soul that will confess they don’t know. And if they do, my guess is that they already discovered my theory for themselves.
2. From my observations everyone thinks that their solution will help, not harm. This was an encouraging thought in some ways…that even the people that staunchly disagreed with my stance were not necessarily out to “get me”. We all have way too many solutions to offer. One of my pastor/mentor’s said it best – “Just because you’ve had an idea, doesn’t mean it’s the best one…or even good”. Well, I added the “even good” part – but still a very good saying.  
3. People are often adamant about something but will quickly change their tune when called on it. I knew someone that stated they would eat any way they wanted and die happy instead of adhering to any kind of diet to improve their health. When they developed a food consumption related illness that would lead to serious complications and death, they quickly changed their attitude. What happened to dying happy? This also happens even when death isn’t involved by the way. Have you ever heard (as the law was introduced), “I’ll never wear my seatbelt”…

Mostly, I think that we are a proud species and, when given advice that sounds contrary to our line of thinking, dismiss such things because it seems ridiculous and the giver of the advice appears weak…For example, my older friends used to always say, “After you turn 40, things ache when you wake up.” I would always think, “yeah, for you because your “X” while I’m “Y”.” – I was wrong. I didn’t want to believe what they said because I thought I was special in some way. Whether more intelligent, a more unique creature, a better physical specimen. Well, all those things are true, (just kidding) but I still ache when I wake up!

Yes, we should be slow to become angry, slow to speak, QUICK to listen!!! Just more practical advice from a God that loves us. No training or education or life experience will make this void. Now, if I would only remember to DO it.

Time is no friend

I play soccer as often as I can. There are several things I notice about soccer lately though. I rarely ever battle for the ball - I rarely ever run flat out as fast as I can - I am concerned about injury - I don't last very long. It appears that gone are the days where I was aggressive and could anticipate, react and move with speed. Well, actually, I do anticipate in my head, but the ol' body doesn't go when I think it should anymore. For example, I see that there's a a passing lane and the dribblers running out of options..I used to anticipate the pass by moving quickly to the passing lane for an interception - now I just watch the pass happen as I envisioned it. (Don't they call that dejavu or Jedi reflexes??)

Anyhow, I am sitting here typing at 4 in the morning after my head got flooded with thoughts when I woke for a minute in the night. No more juice before bed... ;-) That's about as far from something I would do when I was younger as anything else in the world.

Yesterday, we were looking at old photos of me as a baby..."didn't they have COLOR film then" is a question that constantly pops up in my mind. But, more serious things like, I don't remember THAT at all. I mean, that is me...but, I have NO recall of that photo. Of course, some were me wearing a diaper sitting in a high chair. But, others were me sitting next to my sister. Where were we when the photo was taken? How old was I? What was I thinking then? Wow, my mom and dad look younger than I look now......Where did I get that nice shirt? Questions just started pouring out of me.

THEN I realized something else. When I was looking at photos of MY oldest daughter as a baby, I couldn't remember stuff about those either. I am not really worried about alzheimer's right now...but the discovery, er, rather rediscovery that time is no friend started pounding my face in. This linear life we lead is too much like a road trip and not enough like a picture. When you're on a road trip you pass by miles and miles of stuff...how much of it do you remember or keep a memory of? A picture is a static piece of time that you capture. It "holds" where it is. It is essentially captured, eternal.

Finally, last night during date night we were watching a movie and I was confronted with the reality that we do live life like it's a road trip. We don't think about things anymore. We busy ourselves and call it "being productive". But, I don't plan things out. I don't make purposeful decisions after really careful thought. I am not prudent, shrewd or wise. I am impulsive, a gambler and piece of chaff floating in the wind to be led where it takes me. How do I capture important things? How do I live intentionally so that when I do something - it's of value...it's memorable? I don't know.

But life moves on and memories fade. It's too bad really because I have had an awesome life to this point...or, at least I think I have - I can't remember.

Looking toward the goal??

I've heard a saying that says you can't hit the goal if you don't aim at it. That's true...but what if it's a little more complicated than that. What if you don't know what the goal looks like or even what constitutes a goal? Can you imagine a golfer hitting the ball aimlessly not knowing that the "goal" is to put it in the cup designated by the flag? Oh, and by the way, that's only a small part of the goal. See, there are 18 of those cups and you want to get it in each with the fewest number of attempts possible. If you don't know that or only know part of it, you aren't going to do well. Even if you did great on one of the holes...that only counts for a small portion of the real goal which is to have a lower TOTAL number of strokes than the others.

Isn't that how we live out life? We pick and choose our "low scoring holes" like those are the only ones that matter. For example, I don't watch R rated movies. And, if I am not careful, I could easily become prideful in "suffering" for the Lord. Is not watching R rated movies really Gods best for me? Is that all there is? It is really silly to even think it. It might be part of the path in the entire plan of holiness that He wants...but, I can't choose that 1 thing and rest stating that I succeeded in holiness.

Holiness and being set apart is the entire 18 holes - where the clubhouse is heaven...the only place our score will matter. And it's not me against you or an opponent...it's me against the course. The course is my entire life...and like golf, there are many challenges I have to face, but they are all tied to the same goal. Each challenge by itself is not the entire goal. They make up a small part of it. Holiness is my goal. I am way over par.